Page 58 of Degrading Her

My skin burned. It had to do with the farm, so it meant Sawyer, right? It had to be a note for him. Did anyone see me go into the Dairy Barn? Did they know what I had done?

Was Sawyer messing with me? Was this another warning to keep me away?

I shoved the note in my pocket, trying to forget about it. It was probably nothing. Working in a public space was strange. It honestly wasn’t the first weird threat someone had left in the book drop, and it wouldn’t be the last.

But it was the first time it seemed personal, like it was meant forme.

Still, it wasn’t a big deal. It was just a note. If I wanted to, I could report it to the Board of Trustees. But until then, I had to ignore it.

As I opened the door to the staff room, my heart leaped into my chest. Sawyer adjusted his jacket, heading into his office without so much as a glance at me. He closed the door, locking it behind him, then shut the curtains so that we couldn’t see through the window.

Once the most recent checkouts had been cleared and the rest of the drop was checked in, Erica made her way to Sawyer’s office, a slight bounce in her step as she carried over a flash drive. I flicked my thumb over those files, like it was proof that I meant more to him than she did.

But it was nothing. She was simply an employee.

Just like I was.

As he opened the door, she winked. “Wish me luck!”

“Good luck!” I said.

Their shadows danced behind the curtain. I gawked, unable to focus on anything else. After ten minutes, sheemerged, holding the flash drive to her chest. I let out a breath.

“He loves my program,” she squealed. “He thinks it’ll be great. Hey! Maybe we can work together. Then we don’t have to compete.”

It was an interesting idea, but I had a feeling Sawyer would find a way tomakeus compete.

“I don’t know,” I said. “He made it pretty clear that we were both supposed to make our own programs.”

“It’s not like he made it a rule. And besides, it would be our own! Maybe we just have to play his game.”

His game.

Did she know about our ‘please, Sawyer’ game?

The sex tape from the Dairy Barn popped into my mind. Was that another game for Sawyer? Was he seriously going to use it as ‘insurance’ against me?

Erica shrugged. “It was your idea to go against him, remember?” She put a hand on her hip. “How is that going, by the way? Did you find any dirt on him?”

Suddenly, the urge to protect him fluttered inside me, though I wasn’t sure why. I should have despised him. But instinct reassured me he would never use blackmail like that against me. He liked his games, but he enjoyed them most when I was a willing participant.

And believing in him almost made it worse. I wasn’t supposed to like it, orhim,but I did.

I kept the files a secret. “I’m just focusing on my program proposal now.”

“Makes sense.”

That afternoon, I stalled as long as possible until everyone, except for Sawyer, had gone home. And still, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. He had dismissed me so quickly in the Dairy Barn. Part of me wanted to clear the air, andpart of me didn’t want to admit that I cared. I waited at my desk, pouting, fiddling with the file until finally, he emerged from his office.

“You’re still here,” he said.

I raised a brow. “You look disappointed.”

“Only that you haven’t said my two favorite words.” My insides burned as he stared at me, making my cheeks hot. “What’s going on?”

“Erica’s going to get the managerial position, isn’t she?” I asked, my shoulders sinking. “She deserves it. She’s probably better at programming. Quicker. Less distracted. She’ll be able to help the community more. She’s just—” I paused, shaking my head. There was no easy way to put this: “She’s better at it than me.”

He studied me for a second, melting me under his gaze. I looked out of the staff room toward the dim front entrance. I wished he would put his hands on me. Make me feel anything other than the shame of admitting that. Hell, I wanted him to tell meI was wrong,that I still had a fighting chance, that all I had to do was try, and I’d earn that position without having to win our game, without having to literally beg him for it.

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