Warmth washed over me. “No, he isn’t,” I said. Though secretly, I hoped he was.
“Oh, shush,” Erica said. She turned to the dark window. “His eyes are always on you.”
I blushed, trying to keep it in. “I told you: he’s my sister’s brother-in-law.”
“That’s not a blood relation.”
“Erica!” I pretended to scold her.
“What?” she laughed. “It’s not like you’re making babies right now.”
I rolled my eyes, then focused on my work email. Making babies with Sawyer?Mr. Feldman,I corrected myself. I couldn’t let him be Sawyer.
“What do you think he really does?” Erica asked. “Did you see he had these men drop him off and patrol the other day? Like, why does a rancher need a bodyguard?”
She was right. Why did Mr. Feldman need men following him around for protection?
An idea dawned on me. I swiveled my chair to face hers. “You think he likes me?”
Erica grinned. “Obviously.”
“What if I found dirt on him?”
Her eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
I lifted my shoulders. I remembered my sister’s friend, Bambi, saying something like that once: People had secrets, and secrets gave you leverage.
“Why not?” I said. If I was willing to play a game about saying two words—please, Sawyer—in order to get the library, then why couldn’t I go after Mr. Feldman like this? In a game whereIhad the power.
My phone vibrated.Club Riot tonight,my sister, Maisie, texted.You’re coming, right?
My shoulders tensed. I wasn’t much of a partier, and going out when I had to study for midterms next week wasn’t a great idea. But if Maisie was there, that meant that there was a chance that Wilder, her husband, would be there. And if Wilder was there, then that meant?—
Why did I care if Sawyer went?
I meant Mr. Feldman. If Mr. Feldman went, I could figure out whathewanted. Thenthatwould give me power. I could use that desire against him, just like he used my desire for my own library against me.
And if he actually showed up—what would he do when he saw me out without panties or a bra? Like he had instructed. Would he have a problem if I followed his rules when other people were around? Or would he be proud and excited by me?
I turned to Erica. “Have you been to Club Riot yet?”
She shook her head. “Is it worth it?”
“Come with me tonight. My sister is bringing her friend, so I figure?—”
“That I can beyourfriend?” she winked. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”
That night, I wore the same black ruched dress I had worn to the anniversary party. I wasn’t one for fashion, but it looked good on me, and that’s what mattered. Erica dressed in a gold tube dress, drawing attention from everyone. And as we linked arms, I tried to smile like I wanted that attention too. I pulled down the hem of my dress unconsciously, scanning the club for my sister.
“Let it ride up,” Erica said. “You’ve got nice legs, girl. Flaunt them.”
“Thanks,” I said, trying to seem confident. But I didn’t remember this dress being that short, but I told myself that it would be worth it.IfMr. Feldman showed up, he would never expect me to follow through with his rules out in public.
And I would show him.
Maisie threw her arms around me. The giant diamond-shaped fishnets on her arms and legs scratched me as we embraced.
“You’re here!” she squealed. “I thought for sure you would have school.”