Page 98 of Verses Of Us

“And you’re being an eejit.” She moved his plate out of the way, earning his scowl. “You can’t move on. She’s your everything, Ciarán. And she’s been under your skin since, like, forever.”

“She wants nothing to do with me.”

“That’s a lie. She loves you.”

“She doesn’t love me.”

“Are you that thick? Of course, she does.”

“Then why’d she leave?”

“She probably needs more. Like you committing to her. Once and for all.”

“I was ready to do that, but…” He reached for the Guinness sitting nearby, but then pushed it away. Now wasn’t the time to let the drink into his body.

“Did she know that?”

He paused, thinking, but then shook his head.

“Well, there you go,” Saoirse continued. “How can you be sure what she wants when she doesn’t know whatyouwant?” She placed her hand on his. “Do you even know what you want, Ciarán?”

She searched his eyes, hers filled with sadness. The only thing he could think of at that moment, the onlypersonhe truly wanted, was Lex. “Since when have you been such a sap?”

She smacked his arm. “I’m no sap.”

The horses in the meadow caught his attention. He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet-smelling air, letting the sudden burst of courage fill him. “Where would I even start?”

“You’re the king of love songs, Ciarán.” Saoirse took his fork and poked it into his meal. “If you can’t come up with the words to get her back, then there’s no hope for any of us.”

ONE MORE TIME

Alexis

Thepagessmackedthedesk, skidding across the glass surface. “This isn’t your best.”

Mark, one of her finest staff writers, took his work and glared. “What’s wrong with it?”

Alexis sighed and tilted her head. “Do I need to answer that?”

The young man had more talent in his pinky than she had in her entire body. But he was wise enough not to argue with his new boss. He hesitated before biting his lip and leaving the room.

Exhaling, Alexis leaned her head back and spun her office chair around to face the windows. The city sat three floors below, congested with traffic. Caught in a second blistering heatwave, the August haze floated above Montreal’s pavement and rooftops. She slipped her high heels off of her aching feet and shut her eyes, cracking her neck from side to side. Without having to look, she reached behind into her desk drawer, feeling through the clutter for the bottle of Advil. She popped two caplets into her palm, swallowing them down with a sip of her coffee.

These headaches had plagued her for a few weeks and she was giving serious thought to scheduling an appointment with her doctor, but deep down, she knew no one needed to diagnose these migraines and tell her why they kept coming back.

Evening drinks had become a nuisance and were taking a toll on her health. Her eating habits were nothing but takeout and not the good kind. She didn’t go out much anymore and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d hung out with her friends. Sunday dinners at her parents hadn’t ceased, but she didn’t bother driving down to the few they had invited her to.

Work, work, and more work. That’s all she could do. And when she didn’t work, she binged her favourite television shows or spent her evenings wandering the city like a lost puppy.

Pathetic. She’d become pathetic. A shell of who she used to be. She fell right back into the same rut she’d been in fifteen years ago, and she hated herself for it. Wasn’t she stronger than this?

Anyway, she was the one who left. She’d said goodbye. There was no sense in regretting it.

With a stretch, Alexis peeled herself from her chair and glanced into the mirror by her desk. The face staring back wasn’t one she recognized, and she grimaced, turning back to the view.

When had she become this person? Probably around the time they promoted her to editor, she thought. Even her employees were turning on her. She could hear their gossip. She used to be their co-worker, their friend, and now she wasn’t sure they even liked her. Mark was an excellent employee, and she’d just dumped her shit on him for no reason. She was losing her touch and needed to snap out of it. Soon.

Annie’s voice sounded on the intercom. “Alexis, someone’s here to see you.”

---