Page 95 of Verses Of Us

“Dude, if I’d called, you would have ignored my call or told me you were out of town.” He tucked his lips and smacked his hands together. “And sorry, but we can’t brush it off this time around.”

“Brush what off?” Alexis asked, turning toward Ciarán. His expression was a mix of frustration but also deep disappointment, and she recognized it all too well.

“The tour,” Rajesh answered. “Big one, too. International.” Excited, his eyes widened. “It’s going to be one of the best comeback tours—”

“Raj, please,” Ciarán snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. His jaw tightened, but he kept his eyes down.

“You know what?” Alexis took the hint and picked up their leftovers. “I’ll make myself scarce.”

“No, stay,” Ciarán began, touching her arm.

“It’s fine.” She offered him a smile, then brought their food to the kitchen, holding her head up. But somehow, she knew what was coming.

In the bedroom, she gathered her things, awaiting the inevitable sadness, the let-down, but all that came was numbness.

A little while later, Ciarán walked in as she finished zipping up her suitcase.

“Lex, I’m so fucking sorry, that—” His eyes darted toward her bag. “Why are you packing?”

“I think it’s time for me to leave.” She moved the case to the door.

“No, come on. Give me some time and I’ll tell Raj to fuck off.”

“Don’t do that.” She gave a small shake of her head, then took his hand and squeezed it. “I have to get home, anyway.”

He dipped his head, frowning. “But you only just got here. We…”

She could see him searching for arguments, but couldn’t handle hearing them now. She pressed a finger to his lips. “Shh, let’s not ruin this.”

“But we have so much to discuss—”

“I only came for a few days. I have to leave. You’ve got your things to take care of, and I’ve got mine.”

He pulled himself closer, his lips feathering her cheek. “What if I didn’t want to? What if I told you I’m done with it all?”

She snapped her head away and glared at him. “I’d know it was bullshit. It will always be who you are.”

He tugged her into his embrace and pressed his forehead to her temple. “Lex, please.”

She forced a smile and touched his cheek. “We had a couple of amazing days and now we can say goodbye without—”

She was cut off by Ciarán smashing his lips against hers, a tortured moan thundering from his throat. He ran his hand behind her head, his fingers into her hair, bringing her up against his body. Their tongues danced, their teeth gnashed, and their hands wandered.

When he pulled away, it was slowly, as if releasing her lips were difficult. Their foreheads remained joined, and he kissed the tip of her nose. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

Overwhelmed by the longing to lose everything in his embrace, she wanted to believe she could stay. But this was how things were between them.

She placed both of her hands on his chest. “Call me if the tour brings you to Montreal.”

Being the one to step away from him this time was harder than she’d expected. But it had to be done. Their lives were headed in different directions, as they’d always been.

THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM

Alexis

Theplussideofleaving Dublin on a late-night flight was that Alexis could sleep through most of it. Though great in theory, once she settled in her seat, she found sleep impossible. Laden with a deep fatigue that seeped from her bones into her blood, her head throbbed.

The only thing she saw when she closed her eyes was Ciarán’s disappointment. And those images kept sleep at bay. The more she pictured him, the more doubtful she was that she’d made the right decision. Chugging her second glass of mediocre airline red wine, she decided it was time to switch to something harder, perhaps whiskey or vodka. Then she could fall into the oblivion of drunken sleep, where she only risked haunting dreams of him instead of reminders of the pain she’d seen in his burning blue eyes.

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