Page 58 of Verses Of Us

“Sláinte.”

They lifted their tumblers and drank. The burn ran down her throat, coating her insides with heat, but it did nothing to warm the chill wafting from Ciarán. He sauntered to the windows and stared out at the city below. Her legs weakened, so she moved to the sofa.

The hotel had gone through extensive renovations over the years, but a heavy hint of déjà vu struck her when she sat down on the olive-green velvet couch. A mix of blues and R&B quietly filled the room, but it stirred her anxiety as she stared into the dark amber liquid in her glass.

Unable to keep waiting, she prepared herself to speak first, but he cut her to the chase.

“You know… We’re a lot alike sometimes. And other times we’re…” His shoulders dropped, and she heard his heavy sigh from across the room. After taking a swig of his whiskey, he glanced down at his glass as if it contained the words he couldn’t say. Seconds ticked by, so slowly, she thought she would go crazy. “We’re from different worlds. I’ve always known that, but today made it clear.”

She clenched her jaw. “What’s clear?”

“You’re invested in this being more.”

“No, I’m not. I know this is… it for us. I’m not blind. Don’t assume that how I reacted today reflects how I feel.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Doesn’t it, though?” His voice was low. He kept his focus on the outside world, making the world inside the suite feel so far away.

“All it shows is that I care for you. I’ve always cared for you.”

She itched to move closer, but all too aware her emotions were out of whack, she remained seated. Letting Ciarán back into her life had been a thoughtless risk. The doors she’d previously slammed shut had burst open and she fought to swallow past the lump in her throat.

“But I know it’ll never be more than this.” The truth hit her ears as if for the first time. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way.”

Shaking his head, he turned around, his brows creased. “No, don’t do that. Don’t apologize for acting precisely how you should have.”

“Aren’t you upset about it?”

“I am upset. About a lot of things. But you being you isn’t one of them.”

She dropped her hands into her lap. “Then what’s the issue?”

“You can feel how you do, love. I’m the one who’s all… wrong.”

A concerned frown wrinkled his forehead, calling out to her, but her body wouldn’t budge. She brought the glass to her lips, but no liquid touched her tongue. Confused, she looked down at her empty glass.

“Want another?” Ciarán stood in front of her, one hand reached out, the other clenched around his glass so tightly, she worried the crystal might shatter.

“No, thanks.”

Undoubtedly, she knew she shouldn’t have another drink, not with the first one already thrashing through her blood, blurring her mind, making rational thought challenging. One more drink and she’d be entirely at his mercy, unable to escape. This morning, she would have welcomed that idea, but now she worried it would cause serious damage.

He dropped onto the sofa beside her, releasing another sigh. After one last swig, he put his empty glass on the square wooden coffee table.

“Do you know what I told myself the first time we met?”

With her eyes locked ahead, she shook her head.

“I thought you were the perfect example of what I would never have.”

She blinked furiously. “What?”

He scratched his jaw. “Even in my wildest dreams, even with all the fame and money, I knew we could never be, if only because you were too…you.”

“What the hell does that mean?” she croaked.

He shifted in his seat to look at her. “You’re this purely good person—”

“I’m not,” she scoffed.

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