Page 31 of Verses Of Us

Louise tilted her head. “I get the feeling that’s not all, and what you’re not telling me is what frightens me. Listen…”

“Mom, please…” Alexis rolled her eyes, dreading the coming lecture.

“No, just listen. You might need to hear this.”

Alexis doubted it, but remained silent anyway.

“When I was about your age, I was madly in love with Mick Jagger.” A wistful smile spread across Louise’s face, lost in the memory she was recapturing, and Alexis sunk into her chair, sipping on her juice. “The Rolling Stones were at the Forum. And I did all I could to find them. I skipped out on my job and walked to every hotel I could think of. And then I found them. Hours later, Mick came out and signed my shirt.” She let out a long sigh. “He was so kind. Very flirty. Then he asked my friend and I up to his room.”

Alexis straightened up. “Oh my god, you’re kidding?”

“Nope.”

“And what did you say?” Alexis hadn’t noticed, but she had moved to the edge of her seat.

“I was only seventeen.” Louise replied, shooting a knowing glance at her daughter. “I said no.”

Alexis couldn’t hide her surprise. “You did?”

“Yes. Of course, I said no.”

“And did you ever regret it?”

Louise sighed heavily, staring longingly into her cup of tea. “Later that night, I did. But looking back on it now, I know it was the right thing to do.” She leaned forward, steepling her fingers. “Despite what you might think of me, I’m not an old fogey who doesn’t understand how these things work. I know what you’re thinking, and I more than understand how you’re feeling. I remember the hormones and the reasoning in your head saying you’re mature enough for this.”

She reached over and snuck a piece of Pop Tart into her mouth. “But as your mother, and especially as someone who was a teenaged girl in love with a rock star, I’m not alright with this.”

“There’s nothing to be alright with, Mom. Nothing happened or is happening.”

“I’m sure you think that’s true. But he’s got you wrapped around his finger. I can see it. The way you look at him—”

“And did you ever think he might feel the same about me?” Alexis snapped, feeling exposed.

Louise tilted her head, then took her daughter’s hand. “I think he likes what you can give him. And I know you’re smart enough to figure this out on your own, but I hope you also see that you two will never be what you dream of it being.”

Alexis grimaced, only partly because the saccharine strawberry taste in her mouth had turned sour. “Yeah, I know that. Thanks.”

“Lexi, I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to steer you in the right direction. You two had fun, and I’m glad you did. I’m sure you now have a story you’ll cherish forever. But you need to focus on your future right now.” She squeezed Alexis’ hand affectionately. “You understand that, don’t you?”

Alexis took a deep breath, releasing it with one heavy, languid sigh. “I do, Mom.”

Louise leaned over, kissing her on the temple. “I’m here if you want to talk. About anything.”

Alexis’s insides lurched as she remembered what she’d experienced in Ciarán’s hotel room, but rather than having that talk, she kissed her mom and went upstairs.

After a long, tear-filled shower, she got dressed, sank onto her bed and stared at the wall across. The first-place spelling bee ribbons, the framed Valedictorian speech, the acceptance letter into the journalism honours program—all of it glared back at her with weighted implications. All her accomplishments were there. The reminders of her endless hard work, and how hard she had to keep working. People were counting on her—her parents invested time, money, sweat and tears to help her have a future she knew she deserved. A future that didn’t—or could never—include Ciarán Jones. She couldn’t let them, or herself, down.

Her mom was right, Alexis had gained a life story she’d never forget and one she’d hold on to forever. Her thoughts returned to the digits she’d written on Ciarán’s arm and she wondered if he’d ever call her, or would he wash it, and their time together, away?

Things went back to normal after Ciarán left. Or as normal as could be.

Alexis tried to focus on her job, on getting ready for college, on enjoying her summer break with friends. But it was no use. Now and then, her mind would wander and dream about him.

She’d picture life with him, on tour, seeing the world and getting away from her tiny suburb. She’d imagine going to his concerts, seeing them from the wings, and being hisplus oneat award shows.

But the dreams would fade. Any life like that was impossible. They didn’t fit into each other’s worlds and the sooner she accepted that, the better off she would be.

“I don’t believe it for one second,” Julie said one day over a pint of Maple Walnut ice cream. “You two are destined to be together. I just know it.”

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