Page 27 of Verses Of Us

“Do I what?”

“Want to go to the bedroom now?”

His warm chuckle was like honey to her ears. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Well, you know, to…”

He cupped her face, bringing it up and away from his chest. The pad of his thumb ran along her cheek, sending goose-pimples across her skin. “Have sex?” She gave him a small nod. “We don’t need to.”

She frowned. “We don’t?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” He arched an eyebrow and her breath quickened.

Lost to the emotions, to the sensations of her body against his, she’d been so sure before. But now, with the ecstasy dwindling, her confidence faded along with her certainty.

PANIC

Ciarán

“Ido,ifyoudo,” she said, her cheeks flushed in the most beautiful shade of pink.

He tilted his head, watching her, feeling his forehead crease. A strand of ebony hair fell over her face and he brushed it aside, tucking it behind her ear before pulling her in for another kiss. Still swollen from how hard he’d kissed them, her lips were warm and supple, and he stiffened again when he remembered how she’d come undone so intensely.

“With you, I would always want to,” he replied. She sighed, as if the decision were final, which only reminded him why he couldn’t give in. Not entirely. “But it’s probably best if we didn’t.”

She placed her tiny hands over his and pouted. “But I thought, you know…” She glanced down at their laps, “afterthat, it’s what usually happened.”

A soft smile hinted at the corner of her mouth, but her eyes swam with uncertainty. He cursed the gods for giving him such a blessing—one he didn’t deserve. “Not always, no.”

It turned out Alexis was precisely what he’d envisioned—strong, assertive, yet inexperienced and on the cusp of discovering her sexuality. And even if he craved to be the one to meet her needs, to bring her pleasure, to help her see how incredibly sensual she was, he knew she was too good for that. Too good for him and deserved someone better. Someone safer.

The pink shade of her skin darkened, as did her eyes. “Sorry, I just assumed.”

She wriggled off his lap and tucked her hair behind her ears. She was embarrassed, and it was his fault. He saw he had two options; either take advantage of what she was openly offering, which he desperately wanted to do, or push her away and let her go. The war in his conscience battled on, but he knew which side should win, no matter which arguments against it might come up.

“You assumed right. But I don’t think it’s a great idea anymore.”

The words, the lie, set his throat on fire. The sight of his reflection in the black television screen made him sick. He’d let his desire take over and opened a door he couldn’t walk through.

With a defeated sigh, Alexis moved off the couch. He fought the need to keep speaking for fear he’d make things worse.

“I understand.” She kept her head high, and he admired her for it, even though he could read the hurt in her glossy eyes. “I should get going.”

She made it to the door before he pulled his sorry-self from the couch.

“Wait!” She turned, and he caught the hope in her expression. “Don’t forget this.”You’re a right piece of shit, he said to himself, bile rising in his throat as he held her purse out.

She hid her humiliation with a bite of her lip and the sight threw spears through his heart. She heaved her bag onto her shoulder, while he reached behind her to open the door, inhaling her scent for what would sadly be the last time.

“Thanks for today.” After years of using people, the words came out robotically. Only this time, each syllable left an acidic taste on his tongue.

She nodded, but remained tight-lipped. The frosty grin she offered and the way she squared her shoulders told him his wicked ways had finally messed with someone so much better than him. She wasn’t cut out for his life, and he wasn’t worthy of her love and devotion, of her body, and certainly didn’t deserve to ruin such a perfect person.

She walked down the hallway, her shoulders back, and his vision turned blurry. The darkness she’d illuminated returned tenfold.

Once she’d disappeared into the elevator, his stomach cramped and he hurried to the bathroom to splash some cold water over his face. Pearls of water dripped down as he hunched over the sink, watching himself in the mirror.

Why was he having so much difficulty letting this girl go? He clutched at his shirtless chest, as if bound in a straightjacket. Black spots blurred his vision every time he blinked. The cold countertop beneath his palms was the only thing that grounded him to the present, and he tried in vain to catch his breath. The anxiety he’d been keeping at bay for days now, the one Alexis had quelled, returned vengeful, strangling his throat and crushing his heart.

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