Page 45 of Lethal Seduction

Time flies by as we each shoot our quiver full of arrows. Tina, hands down, outshoots me. At least two-thirds of her attempts are in or just outside the bullseye. Quite amazing, if you ask me.

We walk together down the lane once the whistle is blown, indicating it’s safe to retrieve all the arrows. I yank each of mine free of the target, some of the hay bale poking through the holes I’ve made in the paper target.

“Bestie,” Tina says. “You’re really getting better at this. I’m so proud of you.”

I shove the last of my arrows into my quiver and say, “Thanks. All this practice has really paid off, but the one who should be proud of them self is you.”

“Me?” she asks, pretending to be embarrassed by the compliment. “Why me?”

“You kick ass,” I say. “Honestly, the next tournament, you should totally sign up for it. I’d come cheer you on… maybe Jake would too.”

“Really?” This time her voice betrays her. She’s truly shocked that I feel that way. Her surprise kind of makes me feel bad. Have I not been complimentary enough to my best friend in the whole wide world?

“Speaking of Jake,” I say, taking her by the arm and leading her back to the safety of our seats. “Tell me all about what I walked into… what, where, when, and how did this exactly happen? Don’t leave out a single detail or I’ll scream.”

Tina glances over her shoulder. I follow her gaze but don’t see anyone within earshot. Apparently, she still doesn’t feel secure speaking openly because she grabs my hand and whisks me away to the parking area.

“Get inside, and I’ll tell you everything,” she says as she unlocks her car doors with a click of the remote.

I do as commanded and wait while she starts the air conditioning and turns down the eighties music she always listens to on loop. Tina slowly turns in my direction and closes her eyes. I’m about to tap her on the shoulder, but something deep inside says to let this play out.

Her eyes flicker open. Ah, it’s monologue time.

“There I was,” she says, “waiting in line at the concession stand, minding my own business. And who should I see?” Her eyes grow wide, and she clasps her hands over her mouth as she pretends to fight back tears. She shakes her head and swallows. “Jake. That’s right. Jake Bloom walked right up to me and smiled. Well, you can only imagine the rest.”

I’m about to ask for more details when she puts up her hand to stop me.

"He slides his arm around my shoulders and kisses me on the cheek," she whispers. "On the cheek." With a shaky hand, shereaches for the side of her face. "As if the universe opened up to me and revealed her masterplan, Jake thumbs toward the trees. Well, I know what that means, he wants to make mad passionate love to me. He needs to express all of his pent-up lust and desires for me."

I'm breathless and quiet for a moment. Is it my turn to talk? Ask questions? Again, I go to speak, but when her eyes meet mine, I know she isn't done.

"And that's exactly what we do. Me, pressed up against a tree. Him, sliding his delicate, smooth hand down the front of my shorts," she says. "He fingers me like no one has fingered me before. Now, knuckle deep in my love, he knows what he's doing. Sweet baby Jesus, my legs are trembling, and I swear I hear my uterus cry out. Put a baby in me, Jake." She swipes away the bangs from her forehead and sighs. "It's truly magical."

Torn between puking my guts out at her overly descriptive tale and giving her a standing ovation for a world-class monologue, I simply slow clap. "Well done. You officially won our little bet, but even more so, you have yourself a cutie pie."

She plays it coy for a few seconds, but then bursts out laughing and cheering for herself. "The weird part was I didn't have to really try. I've never had a guy just come up to me and point at a tree and get down with me."

"Do you feel alright about it?"

"Absolutely," she says. "But if I'm being honest. I don't think I really want to date him. His breath smelled funny, and the way he was digging around in there seemed like he was looking for his keys at the bottom of a purse."

"But you said it was magical."

"He took my breath away," she says. "But again, he could have used a mint."

I burst out laughing. "I swear to God our lives are like a sitcom."

"I know," she says. "Tell me about you, Mister. Didn't you get to see your hot detective, naked?"

Where to even begin with that? "There's a lot to unpack."

"Hey, I gave you the down and dirty. You owe me."

"I saw him in all his glory at work. He was taking a shower, and I saw him naked. It was huge. He was huge... and wet. Ugh, I could have gobbled him up right then and there."

"Why didn't you?"

"I tried, but then we decided to go back to my place and actually do the deed... proper-like."

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