Page 17 of Lethal Seduction

It’s a relief to hear her say she isn’t upset with me. I’ve been wanting to tell her about this, but I couldn’t seem to ever get the words out. It’s so embarrassing and humiliating that no one seems to want to date me—at least no one even remotely my age. Anyone who even glances my way is already collecting social security benefits. Not that there’s anything wrong with dating someone older and wiser than myself, but I really had hoped I could find someone who didn’t remember when Lincoln was assassinated.

“Since you haven’t gotten any real action other than the occasional unwanted groping at work, what are we going to do to rectify this situation?” Tina sucks down the last of her soda before pushing the tray out of her way.

“I think I’m going to try a new dating app or something, but I was hoping you’d help me manage it. Maybe I’m incapable of picking my own dates.” I’ve known people like that in the past. No matter how well they tried to find the right person based on shallow criteria such as pictures and made-up likes and dislikes, they always chose poorly.

A squeal of excitement escapes before she can clamp a hand over her mouth. “I am so honored and excited. One hundred percent on board with this. What app should we try? O.M.G. I just heard about one that’s specifically for people who work for the mortuary industry. Oh, shit I can’t remember the name.” She taps her finger a few times on her chin. “It was something like I Dig You or something along those lines.”

“I Dig You? That’s so ridiculous. Why would I want to date someone who digs graves? No, I’m thinking like a traditional dating app for normal people. I just need help with what to sayin my profile, picture selection, and then help me weed through the matches I get. Are you in… or are you out?”

“In.” Tina beams. “Just so we’re clear. Are you trying to get laid or have a relationship? I mean, if you’re just trying to get laid I have so many ideas for a profile picture.”

I wave my hands to make her stop. “I want a real relationship for a change. I want to find love and be loved. I think I’m worth at least that much. Right?”

Like a true Hollywood starlet, Tina’s eyes well up with tears. “I’ve wanted that for you since the day we met, my friend.” She wipes her cheeks dry before she continues. “Now, let’s go get me a fucking dress so I can go to this trashy reunion and make all these peasants wish they were me.”

“Deal.” I stand up and come around the table and hug her. “I’d do anything for you.”

“Same.” She gets up and throws our trays in the garbage can. “Let’s go make one of these dresses my bitch. Shall we?”

We walk arm in arm to the escalators that will take us to the lower level. Tina loves one of the stores near the North exit and I’m going to do everything in my power to make her happy today. Even if I have to cut the dress into pieces and put it back together into something worth wearing, today is the day.

As we hit the bottom level and make our way to the store, I feel like someone is watching me. I turn to the left and right, scan our surroundings, but no one is obvious as the culprit. I shrug it off and keep moving along with Tina, but no matter what I do I can’t shake the feeling.

“Is everything alright?” Tina asks.

I shrug. “I keep feeling like someone is following us.”

Tina spins around to see for herself. After a moment, she shakes her head. “I don’t see anyone.”

“Maybe I’m just feeling off. After I got home last night my apartment was unlocked and I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.”

“Oh no. We live in Los Angeles. Leaving your door unlocked is like How to Become the Next Serial Killer Victim 101.”

“Exactly.”

“I’ll be honest,” she says, “things have been a bit strange for me too, ever since the murder at Who’s Your Caddy Golf Club. I’ve felt on edge or something.”

“What murder?”

“I told you about it yesterday.”

I shake my head. “You absolutely did no such thing.”

She tosses her hair to the side and stops walking and turns to face me. “It was a few nights ago. Along the water’s edge. Two lovers met their demise at the hands of a serial killer. They didn’t see it coming. One by one, they fell… their worlds turning black as they took their last breaths.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“From what I heard, they haven’t caught the guy. For all we know, he could be lurking around Seas the Day, or any of the other clubs in the area—searching for his next set of victims.”

“Where did you find this out?”

“Jake,” she says. “He works there, part time. Said it was super sad. I guess the older gentleman was a client there and he was found lying next to an employee.”

“Damn. That is so sad.”

“Other than that, I don’t know anything. Jake said he would fill me in once he found out more, but all I really want him to do is fill me in… you know, down there.” She wags her eyebrows. “You feel me, Patrick?”

“Don’t be gross.” I cover my smile as I desperately try not to laugh at the ridiculous expression on her face. “If you manage to bed Jake before me… I’d honestly be happy for you.”

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