Page 21 of Lethal Seduction

The feeling is mutual, but I only manage a smile and a nod. I feel bad because I know I'm manipulating her into letting me off the hook. I want nothing more than to go on this date, but I'm terrified. Plus, I don’t want to appear desperate by texting him first. What if he doesn't like me and I never hear from him again? Or, what if I say something stupid and I never hear from him again? Or, what if I get so excited about seeing Lady Dame that I throw up and then I never see him again?

I could have punched myself in the face at how pathetic I sounded inside my own head. Clearly, there is a theme to myinsecurities — abandonment. Being ghosted by a lover is not something I ever want to feel again. It's even more painful than a regular breakup, in my humble opinion.

"Back to my list of reasons you need to go on this date," Tina begins. "You have been dying... and I mean catching the flesh-eating virus in the middle of the Amazon jungle, surrounded by nothing but endless miles of poisonous snakes, spiders, and rivers of piranha."

"I get it... dying."

"Exactly. You've been wanting to see Lady Dame for months ever since you heard about herIt's Never Too LateTour. I think it's a sign."

"You think everything's a sign. Remember that time Mr. Pendleton stuck his hand up my shorts and slipped a fifty-dollar bill inside my jock?"

"Yeah?" She looks confused as to where I'm going with this story.

"I wanted to file a complaint with management, but you convinced me that the fifty dollars was the sign we needed to go on that failed audition."

"Oh, that's right." She slaps the table and starts laughing. "We had to buy blue sweaters for the audition and they were twenty-five a piece. But if you'd complained, management would have made you give that money back to him."

"Exactly," I say. "But remember how bad the audition turned out? There was no way that fifty bucks was a sign."

"What's your point, Patrick? If you don't start looking on the bright side of things, you're never going to find anyone who wants to be with you. No one likes a downer."

She isn't wrong. I need to start living my life, but the idea of rejection and abandonment is a hard thing to get over. But Michael is hot, and Lady Dame is my idol, so fine — I'll go. Evenif I have to text him first to make sure he hasn’t found someone else to go with.

"You win," I say.

The door to the employee lounge swings open as I finish my sentence.

"You won what?" Jake asks as he walks in and lets the door close behind him.

Tina and I exchange looks. Her expression tells me she wants to jump across the table and tear his clothes off with her teeth.

She stands and twirls her hair. "We were talking about our upcoming audition."

"Oh," he says, palming back his hair. "Cool. What's the movie?"

"We can't tell anyone that," she says. "These producers are super tight-lipped about their upcoming blockbusters."

"Ah," he says. "You don't know yet. Makes sense."

Tina giggles.

"Tina's agent thinks we have a decent chance of getting a minor role in the movie, but she can't tell us what it is because it hasn't been made public yet."

"What happens if it's a porno?" Jake says, putting his hand up to his mouth to cover a naughty smile.

"Don't be gross, Jake," Tina says. "My agent only sent me on one of those, and she warned me ahead of time."

Jake's eyes go wide. "Wait, you're going to tell me you went on an audition for a porno?"

"If I can," I say. "I'd like to add that sex work is legitimate work."

"Right, but Tina's in a porno?"

"No," she says. "I didn't get the part."

"What part did you audition for? Bukkake bottom?" Jake laughs.

"For your information, I auditioned to be the dingy sidekick. The role I’d have had wasn't nude at all. I was supposed to escort my friend to a bar and then disappear into the night with a handsome stranger, leaving her alone to find love."

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