Page 79 of Off Season

Running my hand down Kam’s back, I whisper, “Relax.”

She whispers back, “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

I lean over and say into her ear, “I’ll give you oral every day for a year if you don’t out us for not being engaged and just go along with it.”

She stops short, looks up at me, and runs her tongue across her teeth. “Whenever I want it?”

I nod. “Yep.”

“Anywhere I want it?”

“Absolutely.”

“Hmm. I might be able to live with those terms. I’m not calling her Mamá though.”

I shrug. “Suit yourself. She’ll be relentless about it. She has a way of always getting what she wants.”

“So do I.”

Mamá turns around. “Your brothers and sisters will be here in a little bit. Your father won’t be home until dinnertime. Why don’t you two get settled in? Bring your bags upstairs so they’re not in the way.”

I nod. “Okay. Which room do you want Kam to sleep in?” I’m assuming she won’t allow us to sleep together. She’s never allowed anyone to sleep with their significant other until marriage.

Mamá smiles. “You’re thirty and you’re my seventh child to get married. You two can stay in your room. I want Kamryn pregnant as soon as possible. ’Tis the season.”

Kam starts choking and coughing. I quickly lead her away from my mother before she has the chance to respond.

I carry our bags up the stairs and push our way into my bedroom. She’s frozen in shock. Dropping the bags, I grab her shoulders. “Relax. Deep breaths. Just take a few deep breaths.”

Her chest rises and falls a few times before she eventually collects herself. “What the hell is going on?”

I shuffle nervously. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. After your reaction when I asked, I didn’t think you’d come. When I spoke with her on Thanksgiving morning, I told her I was engaged to try to avoid Mariana being shoved down my throat. Then you said you’d come, and I was stuck in the lie. I couldn’t exactly backtrack at that point.”

“Fuck, Cheetah. Fake girlfriend is bad enough, but fiancée? I know your balls are big, but this is next level big.”

I run my fingers through my hair. “I just wanted to enjoy my time with my family without constantly being pressured about marriage and my future. I don’t get to see them often. Especially all together like this. It’s the one week of the year I get with all of them. It’s not even a fullweek. It’s five days. I want happy times. Last year, my mother had Mariana come by every single day. She made us go to a house that was for sale around the corner to see if we liked it. It’s uncomfortable. She probably wouldn’t have stopped if I told her that you were just a girlfriend.” I get down on my knees in front of her and give her my best puppy dog eyes. “Please. Five days. That’s all I’m asking. Think of all the orgasms.”

She’s quiet for a few moments before she starts pulling her pants down her legs. I look up at her. “Umm, what are you doing?”

“You said you'd go down on me every day for a year, at any time I want it. I want it right now.” She looks at me in challenge.

“I’m about to go kiss, like, forty members of my family. You want me to do it with your pussy all over my face?”

She shrugs. “Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.”

I pick her up and toss her on the bed as she lets out a screech. “Spread those legs, Kam bam. Let’s get day one in the books.”

She gives me her trademark smile. “If Santa eats my cookie, I’ll drink his milk.” She mimics my mother’s accent, “’Tis the season.”

KAMRYN

After making good on day one of his promise, and then me making good on mine, we walk back downstairs hand in hand to a very noisy house. Everyone is talking and laughing.

I turn to him, but he simply smiles warmly. “Welcome to thecrazy Gonzales household. There’s a drawer of earplugs in my room if you need a set.”

I’ve never had this before. Our holidays growing up were quiet and cold. Our first ten years included my parents bickering behind closed doors. The next eight years were full of my father managing my mother’s excessive alcohol intake. The past ten have mostly been Bails and me alone, though some years were spent with the Abbotts. The Abbotts aren’t exactly a ringing endorsement for a big, happy family either. Given all this, I don’t equate Christmas with happy cheer and fun family times.

The reality suddenly hits me that this is the first Christmas Eve in my entire life without Bailey. I wonder how she’s doing. She’s going to Tanner’s ex-wife’s house tonight ahead of leaving for Colorado tomorrow. It must be awkward to spend time with his ex, though Bailey says she’s awesome and that they get along really well. I met her briefly at one of Harper’s softball games this fall.

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