Page 43 of Off Season

I feign shock. “I’m staring at your heart. It’s my favorite thing about you. I can’t help that it’s covered by your glorious snuggle pups.”

She smiles. Hopefully the tension will be broken between us.

As we exit the bus when we arrive at the event, she even straightens my tie. “Your tuxedo suits you.”

I smile. “You should see what it looks like rolled up in a ball on the floor.”

She rolls her eyes but lets me take her hand as we walk as a group through the paparazzi line. Everyone except Arizona and Layton. They hold back a few minutes so they can make their grand entrance.

We’re reboardingthe bus at the end of the night. Arizona and Layton were revealed to be the cover couple for theSports Illustratedissue. It’s not just any cover though. It’s the most erotic cover in the magazine’s long history. They’re half-naked, looking seconds away from having sex. I think there were three hundred chins on the floor when they unveiled the cover. I’m happy for my best friend. He’s gotten a career resurgence, and I think he found his soulmate. I’ve never seen him happier.

I end up being the last to board the bus. Everyone immediately heckles me for a fun fact.

I plop down on the seat next to Kamryn, and say, “Statistically speaking, male homosexual marriages have the lowest rate of divorce of any pairings. Lower than femalehomosexual marriages and much lower than heterosexual marriages. Do you know what this tells us?”

Layton responds, “What?”

“That blow jobs are the key to happiness.”

Everyone laughs but Trey has a huge shit-eating grin on his face. Way more than is normal.

I turn to him. “Why are you so fucking happy?”

He smirks at Gemma, and she simply shakes her head. “I woke him up this morning by swallowing his baloney pony, and he’s been grinning like a fool ever since.”

I chuckle. Is there any woman better than Gemma DePaul?

I shrug my shoulders and joke, “I don’t know, Gem, was he conscious enough to give consent? I think we have a legal issue here. You’re the attorney. You tell us.”

Trey lifts an eyebrow. “It’s part of theany clausein our marriage contract.”

“Any clause?” I question.

“She can swallow my baloney ponyanytime,anyplace,anywhere.”

Layton nods in agreement. “Morning blowies? Hell yes. We’re like 7-11. Always open for business.”

“Hmm.” I turn to the girls. “How do you ladies feel about it? Receiving some lickin’ lovin’ while unconscious.”

Kam blinks her eyes a few times. “Being awakened by someone we’re already in bed with by him or her calling for Connie Lingus?”

I nod. “Yep.”

“In the wise words of Dr. Suess,I like it here, I like it there, I like it even if I’m unaware.”

I stifle my smile. “My mom didn’t read me that one as a kid. Which Dr. Suess book is it from?”

She deadpans, “The Grinch’s Nine Inches. It’s a classic.”

I chuckle. She’s got a line for everything.

Everyone falls into their own conversations. Thoughsome are more physical. Trey and Gemma are practically having sex in a dark corner while Layton and Arizona are grinding at the other end of the bus. Ezra and Bailey are being touchy-feely. I didn’t think she was into him. Even more surprising, she gets off the bus with him at his house. Kamryn doesn’t look happy about it, but it still happens.

It's now just me, Kam, Ripley, and Quincy left on the bus. I turn to Kam. “I’m not tired. Want to hit a club with me?”

Her eyes light up. “Hell yes. I can never get those girls to go with me. I have to go with younger players if I want to have some extra fun.”

She asks Ripley and Quincy to join us but they both decline. I’m sensing some tension between the two of them. I wonder if they’re secretly bumping uglies.

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