Page 152 of Off Season

“I’m not discussing my private relationship with Bailey with you. Ever. Period. End of discussion.”

“Whatever, Daddy Tanner. You know my sister and I have no secrets. I know you like to tie her up and spank her with a paddle, you weird fucker.”

I burst out laughing. “You’re into BDSM, Tanner? I didn’t know you were such a kinky bastard.”

He blows out a breath. “I despise both of you. Goodbye.”

He ends the call, and I look at Kam. “Does he really do all that?”

She nods. “He sure does. She loves it. And she calls him Daddy.”

I pull the blankets down and roughly flip her over. Placing my palm on her ass, I ask, “Want me to spank you, bad girl? I’ll be your daddy.”

She wiggles her sexy backside. “I’d rather you fuck that ass instead of spanking it.”

I jump on top of her on my knees so that my legs are spread over the backs of her thighs. With my fake lasso swinging in the air, I yell out, “Yeehaw! Saddle up, cowgirl. I’m about to ride this ass.”

KAMRYN

“Kam, stop farting.”

I kick Bailey while we’re under the covers of the king-sized bed of the hotel room. “You know what milk chocolate does to me.”

“Take a Lactaid pill like a normal person.”

“I’m not lactose intolerant.” I probably am, but I refuse to acknowledge it. It makes me feel like an eighty-year-old woman.

She pats her stomach. “We both know who has the stronger constitution. I could eat jalapeño peppers all night and be totally fine.”

“Truth. I wish you could eat Indian food with Cheetah every month. It fucking kills my insides, but I have to muscle through it. You got Beverly’s iron-clad stomach. Literally the only thing you got from her was her only positive trait. I got all her shit traits.”

Bailey sighs in frustration. “Fake news. Not true. You’re nothing like her. Stop saying that.”

“Whatever. I spoke with your boyfriend this morning.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my fuck buddy, remember?”

I roll my eyes. “If that’s what you’re telling yourself. Anyhow, he’s finalizing my new deal with Hubba Bubba. I have a photo shoot out in Napa Valley next week. Come with me. We’ll tour vineyards and drink wine. Maybe we can invite Daddy to join us. He’s never been. I’ll take care of everything.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t. I have Harper.”

I scrunch my face. “Ugh. I hate your job. I have to be there for a week. I’m still mentally recovering from the last time we spent a week apart.”

She takes my hand in hers. “It’s time for us to learn how to spend time apart. We’re going to be thirty in a few months. We’re not kids anymore. We need to grow up.”

As if on cue, Arizona and Ripley come running into our bedroom of the suite in pigtails, giggling uncontrollably. Ripley jokes, “Don’t you think Arizona should wear her hair like this for the wedding tomorrow?”

I nod. “Absolutely. Guys love that look. Are you sure you want to go through with this wedding? Statistically speaking, one hundred percent of all divorces start with a wedding.”

Bailey kicks me under the covers while Arizona giggles. “Thatship has sailed. We’re already married, and I’m already pregnant.” We found out earlier in the season that Arizona was pregnant. She and Layton are so excited about it.

Bailey twists her lips. “I wonder if this is technically a shotgun wedding.”

I shake my head. “It’s not. They’re legally married. This is just an excuse to party.”

I look at Arizona. “Didn’t you say you were turning in? That you need your beauty sleep? We said goodnight fifteen minutes ago.”

She shrugs as they both crawl into bed with us. “I’m too excited. Let’s cuddle and watch a movie. When will the four of us be able to do that again?”

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