Page 146 of Off Season

In fairness, she’s not wrong. I know she’s dead set against marriage. We’ve never discussed otherwise. Not only did I propose, but I did it publicly. On national television.

I throw my hands in the air. “What can I say? I love you and want to spend my life with you. You looked so happy and so beautiful. I was swept away in the moment.”

“You know full well that I’m about to pay the price for that moment of yours.”

I shamefully nod. She’s right. She’ll be crucified. Vilified. It will probably negatively impact her modeling career. “I’m truly sorry about that. You know it wasn’t my intention. I have no excuse other than the fact that my heart was bursting with love for you. I know you told me not to, but I fell in love with you, Kamryn. I love you.” I throw my hands up and let them fall. “There, I said it. I can’t take it back. I’m madly in love with you.”

She tentatively walks toward me as if I’ll retreat from her touch, but I don’t back away. “I don’t care about the backlash, Cruz. I care about you.” She moves within an inch or two of me and fidgets nervously. “I didn’t get to answer your question on the field.”

“I’m pretty sure your silence implied that you were rejecting my marriage proposal.”

She shakes her head. “Notthatquestion.” She nervously chews on her lower lip. “You asked me if I love you.” Shetakes my hands in hers as the shower water now pelts down onto her too.

Without flinching in the slightest, she says, “I do love you. I fell in love with you too. You aren’t alone in your feelings. You know what a big deal it is for me to say that.” Her eyes are wary, but she doesn’t look away.

I nod.

She continues, “I’m just not the marrying type. I’m a work in progress, Cruz. But I’m trying. I am. I’ve changed so much over the past year. Being around you has changed me for the better. I’m working on me, but I’m just not comfortable with marriage. Maybe that day will come, and maybe it won’t. If you can’t live with it, then I’ll let you go for your own sake. If you can be patient, I want to try to be with you. No more caveats. Noflingationship. No more pretending that we’re just fuck buddies. No more avoiding deep conversations about us. I want to be your girlfriend. I’m going to fuck up sometimes. I freak out. It’s who I am. But for you, and only you, I want to try.”

Now it’s my turn to be silent as I absorb the enormity of her words. This is her way of giving.

She continues, “Tell me what you want, Cruz, and I’ll try to give it to you without compromising myself.”

I swallow down the large knot in my throat as I think about how to answer her. “I want to be your sounding board, and I want you to be mine. I want to build you fires, build you forts, talk for hours, and feed you dark chocolate in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. I want you to drag me to your terrible fondue restaurant when you need your comfort food, but I equally want you to go with me when I need mine. I want to watch the movies you love, but I need you to watch the movies I love too. I want to be the man who brings you coffee in bed in the morning because I’m the reason you can’t walk there yourself.”

After a few deep breaths, she nods. “I want all those things too.”

I slowly take in both her words and her physical beauty. There’s no denying it. She’s my everything. My body floods with warmth for her.

Her eyes move down my body until they land between my legs. “I can’t believe you’re hard right now.”

“Kamryn, if the day ever comes where your naked body doesn’t make me hard, take me out to pasture with all the cows.”

She looks back up at me. “Did you know that cows have a three-hundred-and-thirty-degree field of vision? Can you imagine how great that would be for playing ball? I wish I had that.”

“No, Kamryn, I didn’t know that super relevant piece of information. Thank you for shedding light on how cows see. I had been wondering about it my whole life.”

A giggle bubbles in her throat. “You’re welcome.”

I slowly move the wet strands of her hair now stuck to her face. She simply stares at me through her thick, wet eyelashes. My heart beats for this woman. I can’t be without her.

I look into her gorgeous face. “I love you, Kamryn. I just want to be with you. Whatever form it takes is fine by me; all I ask is that you consider my needs at times. I’m sorry I put you in that position today. We’ll figure something out for the impending fallout.”

She runs her hands over my chest and brushes her lips across mine before whispering, “I don’t care about anything but you. Fuck everyone else and what they think. I want to be with you too.”

Her hand moves down until it grips my cock, but I shake my head. “I’m not having sex with you in this shower with all the guys within listening distance. Hell, half are probably watching.”

She begins to stroke me and peppers kisses along my jawline. “What if I told you that we don’t have to use a condom? Would that change your mind?”

I suck in a breath. Shit. Shit. Shit. She knows how much I want this and what it means to me.

Her strokes over me get faster. I manage to breathe, “You’re a crazy bitch.”

She nods as her lips and hands continue to roam my body. “I know.”

“I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“I know.”

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