Page 127 of Off Season

An intruding voice asks, “Kamryn, are you with me?”

I snap my head back up toward Dr. Pearl on my computer screen. “Sorry, my sister just sent me photos of her and her boyfriend skydiving. I didn’t know she was going. I’m flipping out.”

“If she’s sending photos, they’ve probably safely landed.”

“Hmm, valid point. You’re a smart woman, Dr. Pearl.”

She points toward her wall of degrees. “I didn’t order these in the mail, Kamryn. Let’s get back into things.”

I place my phone down. “Sorry.”

“I had something else planned for today, but since your sister and her safety are on your mind, let’s chat more about her.”

I shrug. “We’ve been through this. I told you I’m a selfish bitch. I’ve manipulated her life to keep her close.”

“She allows it. On some level, she must want it too.”

I shake my head. “She’s too sweet to say otherwise.” I swallowthe knot in my throat. “She feels like I need her to mother me, and I’ve allowed her to think that. The reality is, I need to protect her.”

“You’ll have to let go at some point.”

I nod, knowing she’s right. “I will. When I know she’s safe from all the monsters out there. They come in different forms, but they’re there.”

“What makes her unsafe right now?”

“She’s dating a man fifteen years older than her who has told her he doesn’t want marriage or any more kids. She’s admitted to me that she’s in love with him. Her heart isn’t safe, and it’s eventually going to blow up in her face.”

“What about your heart?”

I steel my face. “It’s stone.”

“It’s anything but, Kamryn.” She taps her pen on her notepad. “We’re a few sessions in now. You always manage to steer the conversation away from the man who caused you to come talk to me. We had one brief conversation about how you coldly sent him off, but nothing else. Can we talk about him today?”

“You’re the bosswoman.”

She smirks. “Yes, I am.”

Over the past month, I’ve come to adore Dr. Pearl. We’ve developed a fun relationship. She has an unusually dry sense of humor, which is probably why we click. She’s not uptight like I expected. She pushes me in a way no one else ever has. Each time we meet, I feel like the weight I carry gets just a pound or two lighter.

She asks, “What’s your current status with him?”

“He’s in Florida at Spring Training. I haven’t seen him in a few weeks. He’ll be home by the end of the week.”

And I’m fucking nervous as hell to see him.

“We’ve talked about your more promiscuous lifestyle. Have you seen anyone else since he’s been gone?”

I reluctantly admit, “I haven’t.”

“Did you discuss exclusivitywith him?”

I shake my head. “We’re absolutely not exclusive. I just…I haven’t met anyone of interest.”

“Is thatnormalfor you? I know how much you love that word.”

“I haven’t gone this long without sex since I started having sex at fifteen.”

“What about him?” she asks.

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