Page 117 of Off Season

He chokes on his saliva. Sometimes it’s truly fun to shock people with brutal honesty.

I hold up the bag. “Thanks for delivering it. Catch you later.”

I close the door just as Cheetah reemerges. He’s tucking in his shirt. “Who was that?”

“The ginger delivering my food since our noises of ecstasy scared away the delivery man.”

“Should I not fuck you as well next time?”

I twist my lips. “Hmm, no. Keep up the good work. I mean that both literally and figuratively.” I nod toward the door. “You should head out. They’ll be back any minute, and I have a few things to sanitize.”

He stands there for a moment. I think he wants me to ask him to stay. There’s no chance of that happening.

He shuffles nervously on his feet. “Will I see you tomorrow night?”

I shake my head. “No. We’re having dinner at Daddy Tanner’s. Bailey is cooking in his allegedly giant, gourmet kitchen.” She practically orgasms when she talks about his kitchen. “Harper is smart. I was thinking that I might teach her how to play poker.”

He lets out a laugh. “She’s a cool kid.”

“I don’t usually do the whole kids thing, but she’s a sharp one. I can handle her. I’ll see you at our next lesson.”

He hesitates for a moment before kissing my cheek and then leaving.

I’m just finishing sanitizing the kitchen table and laying out the food when the front door opens and Bailey and my father walk through.

After I hug him, Bailey complains that I got takeout instead of cooking. Is she joking? I never cook.

We chat for a bit about the apartment and life. My father appears nervous. He very clearly has something on his mind, but Bailey seems blissfully unaware.

He notices me staring and visibly swallows. “Listen, girls, Iwant to talk to you about something. I’ve wanted to talk to you about it for a long time. There were a few things about your mother you never knew. Before you jump down my throat, I amnotcondoning her behavior. She was a shitty mother, plain and simple.”

Bailey and I exchange glances. He’s never uttered those words out loud before.

He exhales a long breath. “She was sick. She suffered from mental illness, depression, abuse of pain meds, and alcoholism. The booze only made her depression worse. It was a vicious cycle with no end. She wasn’t the woman I knew when we were kids. The one I fell for. Her diseases and demons overtook her until she was unrecognizable, even to me.”

I can’t keep quiet anymore. “Why didn’t you leave her, Daddy? You could have found someone else. You could have had more kids.”

His eyes fill with tears. It’s more than sadness. It’s fear. What is he hiding from us?

He places his napkin on the table. “I did find someone else. After you girls left for college, I started seeing someone. Your mother knew about this person. I stayed with your mom as a caretaker, not a husband. I’ve been with a wonderful companion for about ten years now. I hope you don’t think less of me.”

I look at Bailey as his words set in. She has tears trickling out of her eyes. I think I’m in too much shock to emote.

She says, “We would never think less of you. Honestly, we’re relieved. We want you to be happy. You deserve a woman who can give you that.”

Dad flinches. “That’s the thing. It’s not a…woman.”

What the fuck? My father has been in the closet his whole life? “You’re into men?” I ask.

He simply nods with a dash of trepidation in his eyes. Why would he be afraid to tell me of all people?

I don’t know why, but he needs our approval. He needs me totell him it’s okay, that there’s nothing wrong with him. He did the same for me all those years ago.

I grin from ear to ear as I sing, “I’m a chip off the old block. Best day ever. Let your freak flag fly, Daddy. I’m with you.”

He rolls his eyes at me before nervously looking at Bailey for her response. She slowly nods. “It actually makes a lot of sense. If you found someone who you love and you’re happy, I personally don’t care if it’s a man, woman, or anything else. But, Daddy, why after all this time? How long have you known?”

She’s right. How long has he realized that he’s gay? Or bi. Whatever. That he’s into men. I hate the notion of him feeling like he had to hide his true self.