Page 109 of Off Season

Gemma happily types away on her phone. “That one is going in a book too. I don’t know where you come up with this shit. There’s no one else like you in the world, though Christian had a bunch of one-liners for me this week.”

I ask, “Who’s Christian?”

Happy throws her shoulders back and proudly replies, “My grandson, the bisexual.”

I smile. “I’m bisexual too, Happy.”

She claps her hands together and gasps. “How exciting. I have questions. Christian rolls his eyes at me when I try to ask anything. He told me a few years ago that he’s bisexual. Jane had to explain to me what it was. Now he says pansexual. What’s the difference? They sound the same to me.”

I let out a giggle. “They’re similar. Pansexual is like bisexual but less horny.”

Gemma shakes her head at me in disapproval. “Oh, stop it. That’s not true. You’ll confuse her even more. I’ve been trying to educate them for years.” She looks at Happy. “Bisexual is whenyou’re attracted to both men and women. Pansexual is when you don’t see gender. You’re attracted to the person.”

Happy sits there dumbfounded. “Still don’t see the difference.”

I nod. “Yep, my definition is much easier to understand.”

“Yet wrong,” Gemma corrects. “I love that Happy is supportive and wants to understand Christian’s sexuality, but let’s give her real facts. While I appreciate that older generations are confused by some relatively newer terminology, it’s our job to help educate them, not make light of it. I feel very strongly about this. How will we progress as a society without giving real facts?”

I suppose she’s right. I get annoyed when people misunderstand my sexuality, yet I only add to that by cracking jokes and giving misinformation. Nodding at her, I say, “You’re absolutely right.” I turn back to Happy. “I do see gender, but I’m physically attracted to both men and women.”

Millie asks, “How do you know who to marry, Kamryn?”

I answer, “Not everyone wants to get married, but it’s no different from you. You had all these men to choose from, and you chose Mortimer.”

Mortimer nods. “Damn straight she did. I’m the luckiest man alive. I don’t know how this beautiful woman picked me from the long line of suitors. I practically had to beat them all away with a stick.”

Millie rubs his arm lovingly. The cuteness is almost unbearable.

I continue, “You had all these men interested in you, your long line of suitors, and you chose one. You no longer consider other men. A bisexual person just has a bigger pool of candidates, both men and women, but it doesn’t mean he or she can’t choose one to spend his or her life with. If that’s what they want.”

Happy contemplates my words. “Sounds good. As long as he’s happy, I’m happy.” She hiccups and giggles. “Happy is happy.” She then starts giggling uncontrollably.

Happy is trashed. That’s what Happy is.

Suddenly I’m taken back in time to fourteen years earlier. I wish my mother had felt like Happy when I told my parents that I’m bisexual. My mother berated me and tried to shame me. Support from my father and Bailey got me through that first year when I was fifteen. I know Bailey lost any lingering feelings of affection for our mother when she treated me the way she did when I came out. I know that’s why Bailey thinks I hate her so much. While it’s one of the many reasons, the night at the studio remains the day I stopped seeing Beverly Hart as my mother.

My mind drifts back to the first and only time I walked into our house with Dakota. My mother immediately kicked her out. She started quoting the Bible and acting belligerent. It was one big nightmare, one that caused me to never again bring a friend or anyone else into our home.

Parents and grandparents should support their kids no matter what. I hope Christian knows how lucky he is to have a grandmother like Happy.

Happy rubs my arm. “You know, Kamryn, when I was your age, I was quite the sexpot. My maiden name is Silver. They called me Swivel Hips Silver for a reason.”

She starts thrusting her hips uncontrollably until Grammy Jane grabs her arm. “Stop all the thrusting. Do I have to remind you about what you and Samuel were up to on the seventeenth hole of the golf course last year? You’ll break your hip again.”

Happy leans over and whispers in my ear, “It was totally worth it if you know what I mean.”

After one ofthe best days of my life, we head back to the house to shower for dinner. I’m so thankful to Cruz for bringing me here and giving me the day full of laughter and joy that I desperately needed.

So much so, that we have amazing sex in the shower.He loves shower sex, and I happily indulge him whenever I can. I love how strong he is. I’m not a huge woman, but I’m not small, and I have muscles. Not every man can lift me and fuck me against a wall like he can.

I’ve never had sex with one person as much as I’ve had sex with him. I get lost in the familiarity and pleasure at times. It terrifies me.

We’re both now in towels, standing in front of the vanity as I brush my wet hair and then apply my face lotion. As I pick up my body lotion, his eyes meet mine in the mirror, and he asks, “Can I rub that on your body for you?”

My face scrunches in disgust. “What? That’s serial killer weird. Why?”

“Because I fucking love the way you smell. It’s something between a peach and a tropical flower. I’ve never smelled anything like it. It’s so damn good.”

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