Blinking away the memories of my last night with Adri, of hownormalit’d been, of how I had no idea nothing would be normal again once we stepped out of our apartment, I swipe angrily at the bitter tear that falls down my cheek.
The guilt eats at me, my constant, unwavering companion. It’s my fault that Adri died.
Entirelymy fault.
I’m the one who suggested we go to London for our graduation trip. I organized and then heavily influenced her to go toFirenzethat night. I dressed her in a dress that no doubt acted as a beacon for her killer’s attention.
And once we were at the club, I… got distracted.
I abandoned her when she needed me the most.
After I almost died trying to get justice for her in the initial months after her murder, I let Thiago talk me into taking a backseat in the search for her body and her killer. He didn’t want me involved, both because it would put my safety at risk, but also because I knew the search was gruesome.
As proof of her death, her murderers had sent Adriana’s finger to ourPapá. He knew it was hers because it was delivered to him still wearing ourMama’sengagement ring.
I let the guilt sideline me. I joined the cartel and focused on training, letting my brother lead the charge to find her and bring her home.
But things have changed.
My brother is the one who’s distracted now, obsessed with chasing his runaway fiancée across Europe. He would never admit it, but the search for justice is secondary to him now, even if temporarily.
He’s trying to move on with his life, and I get it.
I do.
But Ican’t.
Not while she’s still out there somewhere, probably buried in a shallow grave, cold and abandoned. Not until she’s home in Colombia andPapáhas somewhere to visit when he wants to grieve his daughter.
A terrifying shiver rakes down my spine as I stare at the structure before me. I had a lucky escape that night compared to Adriana’s fate, but I didn’t walk away unharmed psychologically.
I vacillate between feeling tense and on edge to feeling completely numb and empty, like Adriana took my heart with her when she died and left my empty shell behind to go through life pretending like I’m not broken.
The back of my neck itches like I’m being watched, but I know I’m alone in this dark alley. I chalk it up to the maelstrom of physical reactions that are constantly churning through me in the wake of the trauma, and focus once more onFirenze.
It’s not just a club, it’s also headquarters for the Leones, one of the most dangerous families in the Underworld and the rulers of the Italian Mafia.
I was a naive, uneducated fool a year ago. I didn’t knowFirenzewas the social headquarters for the Mafia when I pranced through the front doors, but I certainly know now.
And I know that if I want answers, that’s where I need to go back to.
To where it all started and ended.
I’m running out of time.
When I last spoke to Thiago, he mentioned finding me a husband soon to take me off his hands. As the head of our family, it’s his decision who I marry. I’ve always known that.
The old me might have fought him harder, might have given him hell for whoever he dared to engage me to, who knows.
This version of me hardly cares. If anything, I feel bad for my future husband—he’s going to get a wife with a beautiful exterior and a resoundingly hollow interior.
Once I’m married, the near unlimited freedom I enjoy now will come to an end. I’ll have to answer to a husband, I’ll have to share my whereabouts, and I’ll definitely have to come home at night.
This is my one and final opportunity to get justice for Adriana and I can’t afford to fuck it up.
There’s a physical mass weighing on my lungs at what I’m about to do. It feels like I’m drowning inside my own body, struggling to catch my breath when outwardly I look fine.
I’m nothing like the innocent, sheltered girl I was back then. I left my heart and my soul in that building. I’ve been hardened by loss and trauma, sharpened and honed by a year spent in the cartel, and toughened by a cold-blooded and unfaltering need for vengeance.