Page 199 of Phantom Mine

This place has already taken so much from me.

It’s taken and taken and taken.

I won’t let it take anything else, especially not Matteo.

Every minute of the last few months was leading up to this moment, I realize. I won’t let him die. I can’t lose him and I can’t let this be another death I carry the guilt of on my shoulders.

If he won’t save himself, then I have no choice but to do it for him.

With a surprising burst of energy, Matteo lifts his arm and cups my nape. He brings my face down to meet his and slants his mouth over mine. He kisses me with such blatant desperation… it’s… he’s saying goodbye.

He’s saying goodbye.

“I love you. You’ll never know…how fucking...much.” Matteo sighs and releases me. His arm falls limply back to the floor. “I can…die now. Leave…please…”

With those final words, his entire body goes slack.

“Matteo?” I shove at him with progressively more rough and desperate hands, but he doesn’t regain consciousness. Fear claws at my chest. “Matteo!”

Jumping to my feet, I grab his wrist and try tugging him the rest of the distance to the window. He’s got twenty kilos on me on a good day. It feels like forty with the added dead weight.

He doesn’t move an inch. I’m only going to dislocate his shoulder if I keep yanking at him like this. I go around to the side of his body and try moving him using his belt, throwing my weight towards the window as I pull. The momentum helps, but barely. I’m only able to shift him a few inches before I fall to the ground.

A scream of absolute despair shoots past my lips.

I try again, refusing to admit defeat.

“I’ve never done anything you asked me to, Phantom,” I weep. “I’m not going to start with this.”

I lay down on my back beside him and push upwards against his shoulders.

When the side of his chest lifts partially off the ground, I scoot closer, wedging my body into the opening between his torso and the floor. Once I’m in and have better leverage, I push at his chest once more, widening the gap until almost the entirety of his body rests on top of mine.

With an explosive scream full of raw emotion, I shove him and simultaneously flip my body over so that my back is to his chest. Matteo’s arms fall limply to either side of me and his face tucks lifelessly into the crook of my neck.

His weight is suffocating.

“Come on, Valentina,” I grit to myself in a determined whisper.

It takes strength I didn’t know I possessed to free my knee from beneath me and pull it towards my torso. I bend it, repeating the same motion with my other leg until I have my knees under me. Then I push up into my throbbing palms.

Matteo’s body hangs precariously over mine. He’s draped across my back like a baby in a wrap, except there’s nothing holding his considerable mass up. Nothing, except the strong grip of my fingers wrapped around his arms, tugging him forward as he starts to slip off.

“¡Tú puedes hacerlo!” I mutter before launching to my feet.

Matteo’s shifting weight unbalances me and I almost fall the second I’m back on my feet. I catch us by grabbing onto a sconce on the wall. It’s scalding hot and reawakens the burns adrenaline had rendered temporarily dormant.

Bent unnaturally at the waist and carrying Matteo’s body on my back, I take a step forward.

And then another.

I nearly yell out in relief when he holds in place and I manage to advance a few feet.

But we’re far from home safe.

Every step feels like a marathon.

It’s excruciating.

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