Page 143 of Phantom Mine

“What are you waiting for?” I take a step towards her. She cries out a startled warning and attempts to pull the knife away, but I keep my hand firmly where it is. A knife to the heart is more merciful than waiting for the venom seeping slowly towards it to kill me. “Go ahead and finish what you started.”

Valentina shakes her head so forcefully, twin tears fly off her face. Her entire body is trembling.

“I’ve never seen you be anything other than confident with a blade in your hand, so why are you hesitating?” I bring her wrist up, pushing the tip into my neck now as I simultaneously squeeze hers. “Would you prefer to slit my throat instead?”

We stare at each other, our gazes tangling past the knife between us. She’s crying, devastation etched on her features, and a quick glimpse in the reflective surface of the microwave tells me I look the same.

The raw emotions transform my face into a mask of visceral hurt. The skin around my eyes is pulled tight, creased painfully at the corners, my pupils reflecting the brokenness inside me now.

I look the way I feel.

Shattered beyond repair.

“Kiss me first,” I plead, my chest caving in on itself. My eyes go blurry. “My final wish remains unchanged—I still want to die with the taste of you on my lips, even knowing everything.” I press our joint hands forward until the tip of the blade punctures my skin. Blood starts trickling unhurriedly down the column of my neck. “But you lovehim, Valentina,” I whisper brokenly. “So, please…just kill me when you’re done.”

Valentina rips her hand out of mine with a distressed scream. I close my eyes and prepare for the final blow.

Part of me always suspected she might somehow be responsible for my death one day—I told her so the night we met, after all—I just never imagined her hand would actually be wielding the weapon that did it.

I hear her arm swing to the left and expect to feel a violent slash across my abdomen. Instead, the sound that follows is that of the knife colliding with the wall.

“No,” she shouts, angry despite her tears. Her chest rises and falls, her nostrils flare. “No.”

My eyes fly open in time to see the metallic blade drop to the floor with a loud clang.

“I could never hurt you, Matteo,” she starts.

“Too fucking late for that.” I laugh, bitterness dripping from every word as I stare at the fallen knife. “Your lover is going to be disappointed you didn’t kill me.” My gaze cuts back to hers, my body accepting the stabbing pain that happens when I lay eyes on her now. My fist goes to her neck and squeezes cruelly. “Tell me, does he know that your throat is still sore from when I fucked it raw two days ago?” I ask crudely. “Does he know that when he undresses you, he’s going to find my bruises on your tits,myhand prints on your ass?”

The visual of them together makes me lightheaded with rage. I shove away from Valentina with a roar, spin and punch blindly. My fist goes through the plaster and buries itself deep into the skeleton of the wall.

It’s not enough. It’s not enough pain to even begin to quiet the howling inside me.

Behind me, Valentina gasps.

“Matteo,” she cries in concern, saying my name for what feels like the hundredth time in ten minutes. Each one has a unique intonation that rips me apart.

I rip my fist out of the wall, staring down at my bleeding, mangled knuckles without feeling any pain except the one in myheart. Valentina grabs my shoulders from behind and tries to turn me to her. I shrug her violently off.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

My head is pounding, the alcohol sending contradictory messages to my neural pathways, begging them to tell my mouth to say she can touch me whenever she wants.

“Enough,” I hear her order, firm notes of anger injected into her voice. “You’re wrong abou—”

“Don’t you fuckingdare.” I whirl on her. “I’m not—”

“You are!” she interjects, going toe to toe with me until our faces are inches from each other’s.

We both breathe heavily, laboriously, angrily, until her eyes drop to the trail of blood on my neck and falter.

“You’re wrong. Thiago didn’t kill your father for me,” she murmurs. I jerk away from her but her hands come to my shoulders and keep me rooted with superhuman strength. “Stop. You have to listen to me. Please.Please, Matteo! I can’t stand seeing you in pain over this when I haven’t touchedanyoneelse. I promise you I haven’t, Phantom. Please let me explain.”

“You have thirty seconds to convince me I was wrong about everything. And you better have the mother of all excuses if you want to explain what I saw and heard in a way that doesn’t lead back to you fucking betraying me,” I hiss.

She looks away, throat bobbing so wildly it looks painful. “Ididbetray you, Matteo, and I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for what I’ve done,” she admits tearfully.

My eyes close and pain lances through me. I run an exhausted hand over my face.

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