Page 96 of Property of Chaos

My hip vibrates, eliciting a squeak from my throat.

The snap to reality kickstarts my feet into action, and I tug the phone free as I walk.

What happened?

How does he know? I glance at the streetlights, powerlines, and shopfronts as I walk. Does he have fucking CCTV everywhere I go? I thumb a few letters, stalling when they come out jumbled, confusing the fuck out of autocorrect.Later.I need to get to the cafe.

I glance up and catch sight of my goddamn nemesis.Circus.Of course, that’s how he’d know. Because cameras aren’t enough. His stalking ass outside my house isn’t enough. He has to have a guy following me when he can’t.

Men are all the same.They all want to control and shape the narrative, and Ilethim. I fucking invited the devil inside, and I made it hot enough for him to survive.

You did this to yourself.I boxed myself in, too stupid to see what Chaos did as anything other than the manipulation it was.

Theresa rushes for the door after my frantic knocks, unlocking the deadbolt and ushering me inside. “Sweetie. What’s going on?” Her warm hands find my forearm to guide me to a seat, but they’re no match for the heat of my panicked flesh.

“He…” I swallow and try again. “He’s known I’m here this whole time.”

“Who?” She glances behind us, out the glass door. “Who’s known you’re here?”

I drop onto the wooden seat with a thud. “How long has the new doctor been there?”

“At the community clinic?” She frowns.

I nod.

“Oh, I don’t know. I remember Shauna saying something about him a few months back.”The nurse.That’s her name. “But I don’t remember exactly when.”

“He’s one of them.”

“Who?”

Fuck!Why have I told her so little? “It doesn’t matter.” My phone vibrates against my hip, and I ignore it. “Can I sit here and catch my breath while you close up?”

“Of course.” She taps her fingertips together before her, likely fighting the urge to comfort me with physical touch. “Water?”

“That’d be great. Thank you.” My chest still hurts, but at least I can breathe. I rub at the lingering ache in my muscles; the sensation of my heart encased in concrete takes longer to fade.

My boss dashes behind the counter to dump some ice in a glass and top it with filtered water. I lean forward, arms banded across my stomach and press my knees tight together as a physical distraction.I can’t do this alone.The thought jolts me upright, a fresh wave of panic coursing through me with unchecked speed. I’ve never believed that until now. I’ve gone through everything it took to get me here by myself, stubborn and proud of my resilience to the last. But lately… Why can’t I tolerate this anymore?

What changed?You know what. You just don’t want to admit it.Facing this shit with someone else by my side is so muchbetter.

“Here you go.” Theresa sets the glass down, a candy bar beside it. “In case you need to boost your sugar.”

“Thank you.” The words escape as a whisper; I don’t have the confidence to give them strength right now.

She hesitates, offering a soft smile before giving me my privacy and resuming cleaning the equipment behind the counter.

I sip at the chilled water, gaze darting to the street every so often to reassure myself the doctor isn’t dashing across the road with a syringe full of sedative, ready to take me back.I have to move.I don’t want to, though. I like it here. I love these people.

I’m tired of losing everything I gain because of him.

This shit has to end.But how?

I slide the phone from my pocket, weighing it in my palm. What do I say?“Oh, hey. You know how you offered to kill my stepfather? Was that for real? Because I’d like his head on a pike, thanks.”How the fuck do you broach the subject?

Theresa ducks through the door to the breakroom, a spray cleaner and dirty cloths in hand. I glance back at the phone and then ditch it on the table beside the candy bar. This was supposed to be a fresh start, mylaststart. I can’t entertain dark fucking ideas like that—it ruins the character I’ve created.

Because that’s all I am. A character. Every aspect of my personality was formed through one of two means: his influence and the fallout of his influence.

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