Page 50 of (Un)Rivaled

I shook my head. “A divorce would be much messier and would go on our records. An annulment is more?—”

“No,” Gray said, stepping closer to me. “What if we…stayed married?”

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open at the suggestion. When he didn’t say anything more, I just shook my head. “You can’t be serious.”

I turned my attention back to my bag, almost frantically searching through it. This was too much; it was all too much. I had one goal when I set off this weekend: to improve my standing at the firm. Now, I was not only linked to my best friend, but I was legally his wife. And he had the audacity to think, what? That this could be a real thing? A real marriage?

As my thoughts continued to spiral, Gray placed his hand on top of mine. I exhaled slowly then turned to face him. Shaking my head, I said, “This is ridiculous, you have to know that.”

Gray took my left hand with his other, his thumb toying with my wedding ring. “Maybe it is, Devyn. But it also makes more sense than anything in my life. I’ve been sleepwalking for years, and last night, I finally felt alive again. Because of you.” He linked our fingers together. “You’ve always been the best parts of me, Devyn, and I don’t want to waste another day without you.”

My breath stuttered out of me, and I could feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes. My heart wanted to believe him, to think we could really do this, but my rational mind wouldn’t let me. “Gray, we barely even know each other anymore.”

“True,” he admitted. “But this could be our chance, Devyn. Get to know each other again. No onefits me like you, Devyn. Nothing feels as good as when we’re together, and I want to figure out why. Don’t you?”

My heart wanted to burst out of my chest as I stared into his steel eyes, knowing he meant every word. If it was anyone else, I would think this was some elaborate practical joke, but this was Gray. No, I never saw myself getting married before, but if I did, it would have been to him.

But fear was a powerful beast, and despite my initial impulse to say yes, I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. I thrived on facts and numbers, having had too many unknown variables derail my life. No matter how much I wanted it to work out, being with Gray was a risk, one I wasn’t sure I was willing to take.

Having to live without him was hard enough once, and that was when our friendship had a slow, gradual decline. What would happen if we gave into these feelings, only to find out we didn’t work as a couple? That would devastate me.

“I need to think about it,” I muttered, running my hand over my face. “Preferably after a large cup of coffee and the biggest breakfast burrito I can find.”

“Take your time, Devy.” Gray nodded, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. “You stay here. I’ll grab you some breakfast.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I want to.” He released me and winked as he walked out the door. “Gotta take care of my wife.”

Over an hour later, Gray hadn’t returned, so I made myself comfortable in his bed. The TV blared in thebackground, but I didn’t pay it any mind, too busy looking at my wedding ring as it caught the light.

Something so simple shouldn’t have felt so significant. As I twisted my hand, small details started to stick out to me. There wasn’t much to the ring, just three thin silver bands twisted together. Tiny diamonds were laid into the center band, making it sparkle.

The ring symbolized something I wasn’t even sure I wanted, a marriage I’d entered when I was too drunk to even remember my actions. And yet, the idea of taking it off pained me.

I toyed with my fingers again, smiling as the stones caught the light. What if I didn’t take it off? What if we really did this, and I wore my ring with pride, declaring to the world Gray was my husband?

Oh God, that sounded way too tempting.

Closing my eyes, I imagined what it would be like to show up at work with this new accessory and try to explain I’d gotten impulsively married. No one would believe me. While I’d only worked at the firm for a few months, I was known for being cold and aloof. I’d heard many of the other associates joke behind my back, saying I was heartless.

It wasn’t the first time I’d heard these things. Growing up, the comment followed me like a second skin. Everyone thought that because I didn’t automatically smile or exude bubbliness, I was mean. Even Gray hated me until he got to know me. He was one of the first people to put in that effort.

I smiled at the idea of being with Gray. It sounded too good to be true, which meant it probably was. If we did this, we needed ground rules. Maybe we should start slowly—dating before deciding whether to announce our marriage to the world.

Oh my God, we were going to do this. I was going todate Grayson Anders. After pining after him for most of my life, it was hard to even believe we were finally giving this a shot. I thought it would never happen, convincing myself he would never want me in that way.

I should have been terrified, petrified at the idea of loving someone else. Even though the fear was still there, happiness overwhelmed it. This wasn’t anyone I was giving my heart over to—it was Gray, the person I’d loved most for almost all my life.

As I heard the lock click open, I couldn’t hold back my bold smile. I climbed out of bed to greet him, desperate to tell Gray I wanted to try with him.

But as soon as his eyes met mine, my heart sank into my chest.

Even through his hangover, there had been a light in Gray’s eyes before he left. Now, it was gone, ripped away like it had never been there in the first place. He softly closed the door, moving toward me before stopping himself. He ran his hand through his beard, and my pulse battered in my chest. Cold, icy realization washed over me, and I knew what he was about to say before he opened his mouth.

“Wow. That was fast,” I scoffed. “Not even an hour, and you’ve changed your mind.”

I pulled my robe tighter as I turned away, needing to get away from Gray. It was hard to breathe, each step feeling like a stabbing in my chest. It was only amplified with the heavy pulsing of my heart, so loud, it tuned out the rest of the world.

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