My hands fisted as I tried to hide my irritation at the abrupt shift. One step forward, thirty steps back. When I was around Devyn, it was too easy to fall into old habits, like we could gloss over the lost years between us and the hurt I’d caused. I could forget she was my estranged wife and just remember what it felt like when she was my best friend in the world.
But it would never be that simple. We weren’t those same kids. She didn’t know this version of me, and I barely knew her. We were practically strangers, and if I wanted that to change, I had to bide my time and prove to Devyn I wasn’t the same scared kid who let her walk away.
All my thoughts died when Devyn took a bite of her burger, letting out a moan so sexual, it made my dick stand at attention. Jesus. I was never going to survive this if she kept making those noises.Calm down, I internally shouted,needing my body to understand the mission here.Earn back her trust.
As if my dick had a mind of its own, it shouted back—and then can we fuck her?
The mental image of Devyn sprawled underneath me, making those same noises because of my mouth, because of my cock, made me uncomfortably hard, needing to shift to lessen the tension in my jeans. Thank fuck I’d changed out of my sweatpants before coming over here.
Devyn sighed, put the burger down, and wiped her hands on a napkin. “You know when you’ve missed something for a long time, and then you go back and try it, and it’s not nearly as good as you remember?” She pointed down at her burger. “It’s the exact opposite here. I am kicking myself for refusing to have one for so long.”
“You didn’t have to stay away because of me,” I said, leaning forward on the counter to steal a fry.
“Yes, I did,” Devyn said, averting her eyes. She shook her head. “But seriously, Gray. Thank you for this.” She eyed the front door. “If you have to go…”
“Nah,” I chuckled, reaching into the bag to grab the last container. I pulled out my grilled salmon and vegetables, and Devyn’s nose crinkled. I chuckled at her expression. “Even though I’m not in the league anymore, some habits die hard. I’ve been on the same diet for a decade.” I shrugged. “It’s worked so far.”
“And you’re eating it here?” Devyn asked, staring at me like she was trying to solve a puzzle.
“Yup,” I answered, shoving a piece of asparagus into my mouth, mostly trying to keep myself from saying anything else. Like many things with Devyn, it was different. Keeping quiet had never been one of my problems. My dad always taught me to think before I spoke and to weigh outthe value of my words before casting them on someone else. I took that to heart, keeping my mouth shut until I knew what I wanted to say.
And then, there was Devyn.
The moment those brown eyes hit me, I wanted to spill everything, to talk to her until my throat ran dry. I wanted to give her my every thought, wanted her opinion about every choice in my life. After going years without her, I’d grown numb to the constant pain in my chest, but now that she was in front of me, it was a sharp ache, like someone had my heart in a vise grip.
“Okay, what is this?” Devyn snapped after several minutes of silence between us. I almost chuckled, loving that she was the one to break the tension between us.
“Friends have dinner.” I lifted my fork, motioning between our containers. “This is us, having dinner.”
“Since when are we friends, much less friends who share a meal?” she said. “If this is some attempt to get me in your bed, you’ve already failed.” She pointed down to her almost-demolished burger. “Because this might be amazing, but nothing is that amazing.”
“One.” I smirked. “Technically, you’re already in my bed.”
“Yourguestbed.”
For now.
“And two,” I added. “That’s not what I’m here for. I want to spend time with you, Devyn. Get to know this new version of you.” I chuckled, pushing away from the counter to grab a glass of water. “Shit, haven’t you ever just enjoyed a meal with someone with no ulterior motive?”
I realized my mistake as soon as I looked over my shoulder and saw the cold indifference in Devyn’s expression. I shook my head, stepping over to her. Iplaced my hand on top of hers. “I’m sorry, Devy. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“It’s fine,” she said, a little too quickly to be true. As I continued to stare at her, she sighed in defeat. “It’s one of those things you don’t realize until it’s too late. Over the past few years, all I’ve done is work. It’s taken over every part of my life. Expensive meals, high-end restaurants? I can’t remember a single bite, all because I focused too much on the clients and making myself look good.” She shook her head, shrugging her shoulders. “All of that noise to say, no. I haven’t done this in a while.” She exhaled, forcing her eyes up to meet mine. “But this is nice…being here with you, no ulterior motives.”
With that simple sentiment, my heart almost burst from my chest, feeling stronger than it had in years. It felt like the best kind of victory, one hard-fought and hard-earned, like my first World Series tournament, when we only won because of the seventh game. Maybe it was ridiculous, but this moment with Devyn felt more monumental because I was unsure it would ever come.
She shook her head, pulling her hand out from under mine to resume eating. “Okay, Grayson, now that we’ve established what this is, tell me.” She arched her brow. “What do you want to talk about?”
I smirked, lowering to my elbows so I could watch her better. “How about what you’ve been up to over the past five years?”
She stared at me. “That’s a long story. How much do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
NINETEEN
“You are such a liar!”
I clutched my stomach as it ached from laughter. Gray sat on the opposite side of the couch, laughing almost as hard as me. After we finished eating, I thought Gray was going to make an excuse to leave, but he surprised me by asking if I wanted to hang out for a little while longer. Despite my initial hesitation, I couldn’t convince myself to say no. After almost a week of limited contact with the outside world, it was nice to spend time with someone. It was even nicer because it was Gray.