Page 47 of Her Bossy Daddy

“I can’t be little today. I don’t know if I can ever do it again. I’m awful, Liam.” I didn’t even try to stop the endless streams of tears. It felt like my heart itself was crying. “Please just take this all away.”

“You are not awful.” He tilted my chin up. “You’ve been having a very hard time the past few weeks. If I can forgive you for the way you’ve been acting, then you can also forgive yourself.”

“I’m still not ready to tell you everything. I’ve said it more than once, but this is too much. Punish me. At least I can handle a spanking.”

“No, love. Punishments are for when you deliberately break the rules. This weekend is for the two of us to get back on the same page. You’ve been very respectful, mostly, and you’ve listened to what I’ve asked of you.” He kissed my lips once. “And before your brain goes into rebellion mode, I know the difference between earned repercussions and when you simply require a spanking.”

“Like the day we went to the mall? I had a really rough time that morning.” I sniffled but the tears continued.

“Right. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you today, Lacey girl. I’d love for you to relax for the next few hours while I wrap up some work things. I’ve got a fun meal planned for tonight, as well as movies and popcorn for later.”

“I really like popcorn.” Goodness. He’s really good. Liam tugged me gently back to my littler side without scolding me for getting stuck in my adult brain.

“We can even put cinnamon and sugar on it, love.”

“You hate it that way, Daddy!”

“I can make two bowls.” He produced a tissue from his pocket and wiped the last of my tears away. “I’ll be right in my office down the hall. Do you remember where it is?”

“Uh-huh,” I nodded. “What if I get all sad again?”

“If you get sad again, come and get me.” He did butterfly kisses along both of my cheeks and then released me. “I will never be mad at you for expressing your emotions, sweetheart. You can tell me anything.”

“Okay, Daddy. I’m going to look through the books and the art stuff. Will you come and check on me in a little while?”

“Of course, Lacey girl. I’ll see you in a bit. I love you.”

“I love you more!”

“I’ll let you think so for now.” Liam strode across the room and but he winked at me over his shoulder before he stepped out into the hall.

He seemed to know just what to say despite what he said the other night about struggling with our relationship. I’d certainly kept him on his toes since he relocated to the United States, but thinking back on the past six months brought me to the same conclusion. I’d been pushing a lot. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. Liam somehow tapped into a reserve of patience and handled whatever I’d thrown at him. I swallowed hard. My headspace bounced from adult to little several times, but this lovely room provided a place to think without stress. I found a brilliant teal-inked pen, and a notebook, and then sat down to write the letter Liam had asked me to.

Dear Liam,

When you first told me that you were moving to New York I got really scared. I got so scared that I just ended our video chat instead of explaining all the emotions that flew through my head. Some of the bad feelings came from all the hang-ups I have about my body. I was worried you would see me in person and be disappointed or worse disgusted with my curves. I’m not where I want to be physically, and the thought of you seeing me in the flesh caused panic. Then I started to think about all the punishments and rewards we’ve talked about so often. I didn’t know if I could handle them. I still don’t know if I can handle it, but I’ll be more open about my true feelings regarding everything. I kept bottling it all up, because it was easier to do then to share my biggest fear. I sort of told you it last night, but it’s the worst one. It’d be easier to deal with you being forever across an ocean rather than having you here for a little while and then leaving. I truly cannot even imagine it. I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you all of this sooner. I love you very much.

Yours,

Lacey

I glanced over the paper, and then folded it before I lost my nerve and threw it away. My confession written out for him to read served to bring us closer. Sighing, I got up and took a few of the coloring books and pencils down off the bookshelf. I would unwind in my wonderful room until Liam came back for me, just like he promised.

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