Page 228 of Reverse

“Ex-wife.”

“Right,” he says as he stands and holds out his hand. “Come on, Beauty. I’ll take you home.”

The ride back to my apartment is silent as I mull over what I just read, which felt more like what Ilived. Our parents’ love story in its entirety. Emotions swirl in my chest as my mind races with the knowledge webothhave now.

Joel pulls the SUV to a stop two buildings away from mine and parks between two cars to keep us hidden. When he exits, a strange energy rolls off Easton, who sits next to me, his gaze trained out his passenger window. I can’t get a clear read on him as I soak in his profile—as much as I can in the dark cabin of the SUV.

“So, now we both know,” I state the obvious, my perception shifting by the second. “Do you . . . feel like it was a mistake . . . like we were a mistake?”

“Never, and I never fucking will,” his declaration strikes deep. “So yeah, now we both know,” he says, his voice hoarse. “It’s funny though.”

“What?”

“Their story doesn’t change the significance of ours.” I manage to catch him licking the corner of his mouth as he keeps his gaze on the car parked next to him.

“So, do we try to forgive each other now?” I ask.

“I want to . . . See, the thing is, I will never regret us, Beauty, because . . .” he seems to sort through his words, choosing each carefully—which I hate because it’s new, and I know it’s because of post-apocalyptic Easton and Natalie.

“Because?”

He turns to face me, eyes shimmering. “I can’t recall any other time in my life where I was so blissfully happy.” A tear slowly rolls down his cheek, “Can you?”

The burn starts in my throat, and I choke out my answer while letting my own tears free. “No.”

“If that’s not a sign of something fucking real, something worth fighting for, something worthkeeping, then I don’t know fucking anything at all.”

“We tried,” I sniff, my own tears cascading down my cheeks, “didn’t we?”

“We succeeded,” he says, plucking one away, “we really did when we kept everyone else out of it.”

“Until we tore each other apart,” I say. “We . . . .” I shake my head. “Wereally hurteach other.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I still think the world of you. I still think you’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. I will never regret us.”

“Jesus, Easton, can’t you, just for once, be a less authentic human being? Just once?”

“You know I fucking can’t,” he replies with a shaky breath.

“So, what’s your future now?” I ask, just as Joel raps on the hood and Easton eases away from me.

“New York,” he answers. “We’re kicking off the tour at the Garden in five hours.”

“That’s right,” I say. “A European tour. That’s so incredible. Are you excited?” He gives me a small dip of his chin.

The air of the SUV thickens with emotion as I blurt my truth. “Easton, I don’t want to not know you. You became my best friend. I miss that so much, outside of everything else. Can we at least try to be what we couldn’t be before? I don’t want to not know you,” I repeat. “It’s too hard. I miss you.” He remains quiet as I grab his hand, and he turns back to face me. “Maybe, one day, when it doesn’t feel . . . so much like entering the seventh circle of hell?”

He lowers his eyes to our clasped hands, and I’m not sure he’s going to answer, but he speaks up, his voice ragged. “Yeah, maybe then.”

Joel knocks again on the hood in warning.

“I’ve got to go. I’ve got a plane to catch,” Easton sighs.

“But this, right now, this isn’t goodbye, right?” My pulse picks up as panic sets in.

“Not for me. I really need to go,” he repeats.

“But we will talk again?” I ask, unrestrained tears flowing down as I gather my purse and laptop and clutch them to me.

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