Page 139 of Reverse

“You gunning for me now?”

“No, Jesus.” I run my smarting hand through my hair. “I just fucking clocked a guy. Sorry if I haven’t leveled out yet.”

“I’m aware you can handle this on your own, East, and I’m not doubting you.” His watchful eyes trail me before I turn my back to sort the music.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Briefly, I entertain broaching the subject with him. Natalie and I did agree to feel our parents out at some point. I open my mouth to speak, but the words die on my lips as he pulls the piano bench LL took down with him upright.

“Your fucking temper,” he barks, eyeing me in a way that makes me feel an inch tall. “You need to get a hold on that, son, and fast, or it’s going to fuck things up for you in the long run. Big things, important things. I have the same temper, but I’ve never let it get to me like it’s starting to eat at you.”

“It’s a matter of respect,” I tell him. “He doesn’t have any for himself, let alone anyone else. I told you I had a feeling about him, and I’m usually right.”

“He’s a musician in need of a paycheck who backs you on stage every night without fail,” Dad scolds. “Is it really worth the hassle to go at him over a random road hookup?” He shakes his head. “And just so we’reclear, all the money in the fucking world can’t repair the damage of a bad temper.”

“He deserved it,” I explain. “He was getting sucked off at a party and was trying to lure her into the mix, knowing she was with me. She’s not the type. She’s innocent. That’s why he didn’t fight back.”

Dad doesn’t miss a beat. “Then he deserved it.”

“Fucking thank you.” I straighten the sheets in my hands. “I can’t stand him. We’re replacing him after the tour,” I lift my chin in the direction LL left.

“Fine. I’ll take your word on this.” Long minutes pass while I pack my messenger bag. Dad lets out a heavy exhale before he breaks the silence. “I love him, son. I love that boy with everything in me, but his acid may be leaking a little too much into you.”

Confusion blinds me briefly until it hits me. “Benji?”

“He’s like a son to me, but he’s jaded as hell, and sadly his perception is a bit fucking skewed because of what he’s been through with Ben and Lexi. He’s smart. I’ll give him that, probably more intelligent than all of us. Buried somewhere inside him is a good heart, but make no mistake, he’s got more acid than blood running through him at this point.”

“He has a strong aversion to our government and commitment issues, but that’sBenji’sprerogative. Credit me for having a mind of my own.”

“I do. I just don’t like the path he’s on. He’s starting to worry me, and I don’t want you mistaking his word for gospel, especially right now.”

“Stop. This whole conversation is unnecessary. We may be as close as brothers, but I don’t share all his beliefs.”

“Fine.” Dad gestures toward my hand. “You need to ice that.”

“Yeah, I’d better.”

“Come on then, I need a smoke and I’m starving,” he prompts, already digging in his pocket for his cigarettes.

Shouldering my bag, my phone buzzes in my pocket with an incoming call. Figuring it’s probably Natalie, I resist the urge to make an excuse to answer to pursue the conversation with Dad instead. “What exactly happened with them?”

Dad shrugs. “Lexi cheated, and Ben couldn’t forgive her. I couldn’t blame him at the time. They were heavy, and it was pretty brutal. When she tried to move on, he couldn’t forgive her for that, either. Neither of them could truly let go, so they went back and forth for years. He got her pregnant the night I married your mother.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. He was good to her when she was pregnant, too. You could see the potential there for reconciliation, but it never happened. I never really understood why they could never manage to get it together until a few years back. I decided the reason was and still is what it’s always been, the band.”

“Lexi couldn’t handle being a rock star’s wife,” I add, recalling the same conversation with Natalie in Seattle.

“Exactly.” He glances up thoughtfully. “As close as Ben and I are, I realized her cheating changed something inside him for the worse. It’s like their relationship going south slowly poisoned them both.”

“What about you and Mom?”

He draws his brows as we walk the hall backstage. “What about Mom and me?”

“Where was your head when you were together?”

“We got together when I was at my lowest point, so it was scattered. You know that.”

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