Page 24 of Protecting My Nanny

"I just don't want to see you get hurt. It happens to the best of us. Anyway, I've got lunch soon, need to get ready, but I'll see you this weekend, right?"

"Yeah. Later, Anne."

"Bye, Doll," says Annette before the line goes blank.

It's the first time I can remember Shane and I being home alone together, and for some reason, I find myself nervous to leave my bedroom. I finally make it downstairs around lunchtime to find Shane sitting on a barstool at the kitchen counter, scrolling through his phone as he sips coffee.

I decided to come right out and ask him about the article. Perhaps if I frame it as a joke, he won't think I'm taking it so seriously.

"Shane Matthews is a cunning businessman," I say, approaching him from behind. The line comes directly from the article. I continue. "But he lacks resolve when it comes to dating," I mock, smiling the entire time. "Ohh, burn," I add.

"Ahh, not you, too," he says, smiling. "My phone has been blowing up with people taking digs at me all morning."

I wonder to myself just who these people are, but don't dare to ask; Annette's words have started to stick in my head.

I let it go, heading to the cupboard to retrieve a coffee mug, placing it in Shane's state-of-the-art coffee maker and pressing the espresso button. Shane goes back to his phone, and we enjoy a moment of comfortable silence.

"It's from an interview I did a few months back, before... Claire, Jaime, and you. They wanted someone single and successful, and since I'd broken up with Balina, they had an eye on me. It was actually supposed to be released months ago, but they withheld it, given everything our family was going through..."

He's explaining himself unprovoked, and I secretly like it.

"Shane, you don't need to explain yourself..."

"I know. It's just... I was in a different state of mind then," Shane says. "I've never really taken dating seriously; I'm too involved with work, I guess. So..."

There's more there—I can feel it—and part of me wants to peel back each layer to learn all I can. But the voice in my head tells me to refrain.You know, the more you learn about his past, the more he'll likely want to know about yours,I think to myself.

I imagine having to tell him about Raffaele, the violence, and the things I had to do for the Avvoltoi under his watch. And suddenly, I'm thinking of Giovanni. Where is he?

"Nicole?" Shane calls.

"Sorry," I say, snapping back to the present. "I really need some coffee before I let the day pass any further." Just as the words leave my mouth, the coffee machine dings, and I see clouds of steam wafting from my mug.

"Want to join me?" Shane offers. I'm tempted, but I'd rather not, with Giovanni or Shane's exes on my mind.

"Maybe later," I say. "I think I'll take this one in bed."

Shane gives me a smile and returns to his phone as I ascend the steps.

After a coffee and a quick nap, I finally submit to the in-ground swimming pool beckoning me from the backyard.

I change into my red two-piece swimsuit, head downstairs, and approach the glass doors to the back patio when I see Shane. He's doing laps in the pool, and when he stops to surface for air, all my thoughts freeze on him.

I imagine him close to me, his body pressed up against mine, the taste of his lips, the feel of his arms and muscles wrapped around me. I remember we're home alone, and that if he wereto loosen the strings on my bikini and let it fall to the floor, no one would be around to watch. I'm watching his hands as he strokes the water's surface, imagining them slowly caressing my neck, working their way downward as I stroke his chest and do the same. A sensation stirs within me, a tingling warmth, and I realize I've been standing there, watching him through the glass doors, for too long.

The pool will have to wait—I can't be around him like this. I turn and head back to my room.

I'm happy to see Jaime; his smile and school stories always bring me joy and help me forget about the complexity of my predicament. After school, he returns, and we immediately get started on his nature diorama for art class. He's drawn out the whole thing in detail, explaining it to me as we sit at the dining table. But my thoughts are still on Shane.

"Hey, Nicole, are you listening to me?" Jaime shouts, and I realize I'm a million miles away.

"Yes, of course, buddy."

"This is important, Nicole. I need you to focus," Jaime insists.

"Buddy, I promise I'm 100% focused on you." But that's a lie. How can I be, when Shane is all I can think about? I wonder if it's too much. Am I losing myself? Am I falling for him? And if I am, is it a violation of my duty to Jaime?

Chapter 11

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