Page 37 of Dollface

“I’m so sorry.” My voice cracks on a sob as I stare up at her. “I’m so fucking sorry, Blue.” My head slams against her stomach, my arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her close as I unleash all my emotions, my trauma, all the pain I’ve buried inside and tried to lock away for centuries. It all rushes to the surface and boils over, consuming me as I sit here and cry against her body, soaking her dress in my flowing tears. Something breaks inside me, shattering into a million pieces, and the only way to fix it—to fix me—is her.

My Blue.

And the worst part of it all is that I almost took that way. I almost lost the only chance I have at saving myself.

“Firefly...” She slowly curls her arms around my head, her hesitation to embrace me only adding to the overwhelming amount of guilt drowning me. “Are you okay?”

My eyes shoot to her face, shocked by her selfless question. “Me?” I question as she wipes my face. She’s so fucking gentle with her fingers as she smiles softly at me. I grab her hand, completely taken back. “Blue, I-I just attacked you. I came inhere, possessed like one of her fuckingtoys,and could’ve killed you. And-d you’re sitting here, asking ifI’mokay?”

Blue tilts her head. “Firefly, I know that wasn’t you.” She grips my arms, pulling me from her waist as she slides to her knees, positioning herself perfectly in front of me. The two of us sit, kneeling before one another, two damaged creations trying to find a purpose to our existence.

“I know you. I know your heart.” She presses her hand to my chest, giggling at its rapid beat. “You won’t kill me, because—” She stops, biting her lip.

“Because what?” I ask weakly. Her cheeks burn with embarrassment. How can she be embarrassed after everything we’d been through? After what I just did to her? “Hey.” I reach my hand out, trying with everything I have to calm the shaking as I gently touch her chin. “Rule number three.”

She nestles her face against my palm, shooting me a playful expression. “Don’t be quiet? I don’t think that rule really applies here.”

“Doesn’t it?” I force a smile; her joy is infectious. “What is it?” I press.

“Well... ” Her fingers begin playing with the various loose strings of my burlap suit as she refuses to look at me. “You won’t hurt me, because you like me.” Her eyes immediately shoot to me, the words hitting my heart like a sack of bricks as I see the nervous apprehension in her buttons, waiting.

Blue knew I wouldn’t kill her—because I like her.

Do I like her? I mean, I liked having sex with her. And listening to her laugh—God, it’s a breath of fresh air. I like being around her, even if she is attached to that disgusting, half-stuffed rodent she can’t seem to live without. I like stalking her, thinking about her when I’m alone, especially when I’m pleasing myself. I like sitting outside her window as she sleeps, making sure no one bothers her. I like keeping her safe, protecting her?—

Fuck. I don’t just like her– I’mobsessedwith her. The feel of her body, the sounds she makes and the way she tastes on my tongue. I’m addicted, intoxicated by her scent, that ridiculous laugh of hers, and the way she makes me feel seen. Not just the colors on my skin, or the ones I make her see, no, she seesme, and I’m entranced by her.

“Firefly?” My name falls from her lips, pulling at my chest, the way she formed the sounds perfect and sensual. “Youdolike me, don’t you?” Her fingers weave through my hair, patiently waiting.

Seeing her here, kneeling before me, selfishly ensuring my own safety before her own and still looking at me the way she always does—I can’t deny it. I can’t keep lying to myself, pretending that I don’t feel what my heart is doing. Yeah, my cock reacts to her in a way unlike anyone else, but my heart–well, that’s something new, something I have never experienced before. I don’t just like her. She consumes every ounce of my very being. Her existence breathes life into my dead soul, peeling me from my own darkness and showering me in her warmth. Fuck, I don’t just want her. No, I need her. She’s mine, all mine. I never want to share her, or the way I feel, with anyone else. Ever.

“Yeah, I think I do like you,” I whisper, running my thumb along her lower lip. Her eyes flash, a soft, happy little gasp brushing past my finger from her mouth. My words are exactly what she wants to hear, and it pleases me to give it to her. I want to say more, to give her more, the unbearable urge to confess all my sins to her as I beg on my knees to be worthy of her affection.

“Blue?” She peers up at me, the ends of my dark hair brushing against her forehead as I lean in close. “Can I tell you a secret?”

She nods, leaning into me, reaching for a kiss. I can’t help but to smile, knowing how her body must be twisting with eagerness, wanting to feel mine. And for the first time in, well,ever, I don’t want to just fuck her. I want to be honest with her. No games, no dice, no pressure. I just want to open myself up, carve out my heart, and lay it at her feet. I take a large breath, preparing for the enormous emotional unload I’m about to profess.

“Blue, I—” Admitting my feelings is a lot harder than I expected. My throat closes, my heart racing with anticipation and nerves, consuming me. My jaw clenched, tightening to hold back my voice. I grip the back of her neck gently, my veins bulging as I resist myself.Why is it so hard to admit? To simply speak the words?

“Firefly?” I swallow my fear.Now or never.

“I think I don’t just like you.” Her eyes study mine, her cheeks slowly fading to a bright, burning red. “I?—”

Before I can speak further, she shoots forward, slamming her lips against mine, cradling my face with her hand as she kisses me with such impressive force. Every restraint and hesitation in my body melts away as I embrace her, kissing her back twice as hard.

“I love you too,” she breathes into my mouth. I don’t even have to say it; Blue knows exactly how I feel. I think she always has.

“God.” I struggle to breathe, pressing into her body as we kiss with such a passion, I feel as though I’ve lost all the strength in my body. “I told you you’d be my undoing.” She giggles into my mouth, causing me to do the same, the flood of such a range of emotions leaving me exposed.

My hand brushes along her arm, her body jolting as she flinches. I realize where I touched—the mark I left on her with my knife. My blood runs cold, my face hardening as I stare at the fresh wound, my happy mood returning to one of self-hatred.

“Hey.” She catches the direction of my gaze and tries to calm me. “It’s okay. Look.” She rotates her arm, pretending itdidn’t hurt. “Nothing a little needle and thread can’t fix.” Blue kisses my nose, standing and approaching the table.Needle and thread.

“Let me.” I shoot to my feet, walking over to the table.

“What?”

I quickly remove my suit and gloves, kicking the uncomfortable material aside, shoving the negative thoughts away all the same. I place a hand on her lower back, plucking the threaded needle from her fingers. “I made the cut, now let me fix it.” It was more a command than a choice.

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