"No screaming too loud. No having better orgasms than any he could give you. A limit on multiple orgasms. No?—"
I laughed. "He's not that bad. He and the other guys understand that I can do whatever I want with either of you. They know all about you and I have their blessing. Believe it or not, I don't need their permission."
Yeah, Storm would say otherwise. He'd say he grudgingly gave his permission to me to enjoy them if I wanted to. If he did, I'd humour him. At the end of the day, as long as everyone was okay with it, I'd enjoy myself and these two guys, if that was what they wanted too.
Atlas and Jay both looked more than a little disbelieving.
I shook my head at them. "I promise you, there's no legal documentation with permission. Can you even imagine going to a lawyer with something like that?"
"Yes," Atlas said with a chuckle. "I'm pretty sure lawyers have seen worse."
"I wouldn't take that bet," I said. I finished the last of my dinner and rose to take the plates into the kitchen. "Does that mean you want to?—"
"I do," Atlas said.
"Me too," Jay said. He looked tentatively eager. As though he wanted to, but he was taking a huge risk with himself, and maybe with his heart.
I blinked heavily, once, before looking directly at Jay. "Before we do anything, there's something you should know. Something about my past." Now had to be the right time, before we went any further. Whether Atlas liked it or not.
Before I could say another word, Jay knocked the breath out of me by saying, "You used to work at Flirts. Atlas told me on the way here. He thought if I found out suddenly, I might not react right."
It took me a solid minute to get my head around that and think clearly again. If Atlas told him on the way to my place, then he couldn't have told Bruce. In that case, who had?
Right now, that didn't matter so much as the fact it wasn't Jay. I wanted to hug him. I was so relieved. I didn't, not yet. We needed to finish this conversation first.
"There's no right or wrong way to react," I said evenly. "Whatever you did or said, I would have rolled with it." I was also relieved he already knew and wasn't running for the hills. Was that what he meant by not reacting right?
"I might have freaked out," Jay said ruefully. "Imagining you being in front of all those people, being vulnerable and touching them…" He shuddered. "I don't want to think about it. It's almost enough to give me a meltdown. The footy crowds are rowdy enough."
"So this isn't about you being upset about what I used to do," I said slowly. "It's the thought of you doing it yourself."
That made total sense. For someone on the spectrum who didn't like a lot of noise or physical contact, the thought would be daunting. The stuff of nightmares maybe.
"Exactly," he agreed. "I'm not going to judge you for doing it. Unless you're going to judge me for playing a sport where I get to tackle the shit out of people." His smile was tentative, but warm. Clearly dealing with people in general was a daily challenge. One he faced down like the badass he was.
I smiled back. "I would never judge you for playing rugby. Not when I love it almost as much as you do."
"Now that's out of the way…" Atlas said, not so subtly hinting at the fact we were still sitting at the table talking.
"Is it out of the way?" I directed the question at Jay. "You know about me and what I used to do and you still want to fuck me?" That was direct, but I knew he'd appreciate it. There was no point in trying to skirt around the topic. Especially with someone like him.
"I want to fuck you more than I did before," Jay said. "You get me like Atlas does. Some people, they wouldn't have tried to tell me about their past. They would have let it creep up on me."
I did that with the other guys and the whole mafia shit, but not with this. Not when we were talking about intimacy. He should know what he was getting before he got me.
"I think we get each other," I said. "Let me show you."
Jay put his empty bowl beside mine and took one of my hands. Atlas took the other and between them, they walked me to my bedroom.
Chapter Seven
Chelsea
We barely gotthrough the door when the guys started taking my clothes off, layer by layer. They worked together to ease off my jumper and shirt, then shoes, jeans and socks.
"You were right," Jay said breathlessly. "She is gorgeous." He took a moment to admire me before tearing off his shoes and throwing them in the direction of the door like they offended him by being on his feet.
"She's more than gorgeous," Atlas matched his reverent tone. "She's incredible. Wait until you hear her come."