Page 25 of Chaplain

"Did I die?" He asks, reaching one bandaged hand to my cheek. "Because only angels are as pretty as you."

I take his calloused hand and hold the warmth against my dried tears, trying not to roll my eyes. "No. But when Ronnie and the others discover you're awake, you might wish you had."

As I help prop him up, Diesel winces but waves off my concern. "How's Gabe?"

I grin at his worry for my brother over the club's opinion of his actions. "He's okay. Ronnie was able to get a contact to Luca, and Gabe is with one of your brothers waiting for him at the airport."

Diesel chuckles but winces at the pain it causes. "The kid must not have been as bad off as I thought if he's hanging out in airports." He shifts his weight to his elbows, trying to sit all the way up, but Tap's bandage around his waist won't allow it.

"He's young," I say with a soft palm to Diesel's shoulder, pushing him back down. "I'm sure you bounced back that fast when you were his age."

"His age." I hear the sarcasm in Diesel's voice, but when his eyes meet mine, something deeper reflects in them. Fear. Regret. Relief. I see them all.

My ire softens at the sincerity in his eyes.

"You locked me in my apartment and took off like a bat out of hell, Diesel." My voice breaks, betraying the mix of anger and fear I thought I was hiding so well. "I thought I'd never see you again after that."

Diesel takes a breath. "I couldn't risk you tipping off the club, Eden. Not with your brother's life on the line. And if the Demons saw us coming, they might have just killed Gabe."

"You couldn't have just explained that to me instead of making me feel powerless?"

Something dark washes over Diesel's eyes. Like a fleeting thought trailed by a tangle of barbs that cut deep into his soul. "Powerless is sometimes best."

I'm not sure where that comment comes from, but the lines forming along Diesel's face make me pocket it for a later discussion. "So you removed me from the equation and called the cops on yourself instead?"

"Calling the cops created a diversion and bought us time. Had to make sure you stayed safe." He drops his gaze. "And the club - they deserved justice for what the Demons did to one of our own. Last year, they came after one of our members while he was hanging out with his family at a restaurant in town. Dragged him out into the ally and beat the shit out of him in front of his wife and kids. I don't regret what I did, finding the bastards who did it and paying them back with my own visit. But I broke club rules. I took vengeance for myself and not for my brothers, and that has cost me the respect of the membership."

"You acted on your love for a brother," I reassure.

"No." His expression is so pained that I'd do anything to be able to ease it. "I thought I did, but now, knowing what it feels like to have someone you can't live without in danger, I know the club was right. I acted for my own reasons then." He reaches for my hand and holds it over his heart. "But this time…" he trails off before catching his breath. "This time, I'd do it all over again in a fucking heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe."

I squeeze his hand, moved by how torn he felt between obligations. In the end, Diesel chose to put his life on the line instead of choosing between his loyalty to the club and me.

It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him that when his head falls back to the pillow and his eyes close.

He's not well enough to hear what I have to say, so I don't even try. I hold his hand in mine and sit silently until Ronnie comes in the room half an hour later to tell me Luca is in the clubhouse.

14

Diesel

Iwince as I take a stool in the bar, my side still a mass of pain. But it was worth it to have saved Eden's kid brother and to prove myself to the club. And to Eden.

Or so I thought. Eden hasn't been around the clubhouse in days, not since it all went down. Can't blame her - the danger we live in, it's too much. She has a real life, a future ahead. Not like me.

Ronnie walks in and grabs a chair, eyeing me thoughtfully. "Still hurts like hell, don't it?"

I grimace in answer. "I'm getting too old for this shit."

Ronnie lifts a bottle and tips it in my direction. "Aren't we all, brother. That was a helluva risk you took."

I haven't spoken to Ronnie about the other night yet, so I'm glad he's brought the subject up.

"I know how it looked. Going rogue, like before."

Ronnie slaps my knee. "This time was different, though. You acted for the right reasons and handled the club business inthe process. They're cheering your name, Chap. You're a fucking king."

I shake my head and study my beer. "I should've trusted you to back my play from the start," I admit.

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