Page 11 of Baby on Board

“I’m afraid pregnant women don’t get those. Here. I made you some soup and toast. That should go down easily enough.”

I take a sniff of the bowl, and my stomach growls louder. “Okay, okay. Boy, you’re already an obstinate one, aren’t you.”

“Takes after the mother.” Scarlett laughs. “Eat up, and I’ll help you get in the shower.”

“That bad, huh,” I add. I know I look horrible. I haven’t left Scarlett’s bed in two days.

“I’ve smelled better. Besides, a shower and moving around might make you feel better.”

I take a spoonful of soup, but my stomach twists on itself as soon as the warm liquid reaches it. “I thought I’d gotten over morning sickness weeks ago,” I say and toss the spoon down in the bowl and push the tray to the side.

Scarlett takes a seat on the edge of the bed and brushes my loose hair from my face. “I’m afraid it isn’t morning sickness this time, Love. You’re suffering from a broken heart.”

I know I am, but when she mentions it, the flood of emotion comes tumbling in waves over me, and I can’t hold it back. “I don’t even know what is wrong with me? I swear I was so happy one minute, and the next, I couldn’t breathe. I was so afraid I was making a huge mistake with Rafe.”

“What kind of mistake?”

“I don’t know.” I use the back of my hand to dry my tears before they spill. “I saw the nursery he made and how perfect it was, and suddenly all I could think about was what happens after the baby is born and all the newness wears off. We all know my parents thought they could make it work until I came along. What if a kid is too much for us? Shouldn’t we know if we’re long term material before we bring up a baby together?”

Scarlett gets a strange look in her eyes, and her lips tilt in a half-smile. “Don’t you think you should have asked that question before you two made a baby together?”

She laughs, and I feel my chest ease a bit. “We did go about it a bit backwards, but does that mean we just throw caution to the wind now? What if we don’t last? Wouldn’t it be best to decide if we can stay together now instead of ripping the baby away from one parent down the road?”

“Aren’t you making that decision now by taking Rafe out of your life?”

My stomach is queasy, and I lie back down in the bed and cover my eyes with my hands. Maybe Scarlett is right. Perhaps I’m so afraid of the future I’m willing to break us apart now while I can control the fallout.”

“I’ve known the man a month, and he’s promised me the world. What would you do, Scar?”

“Let’s see.” She taps her finger on her lips. “Not including the part about him being hotter than hell and so in love with you, he waited until your wedding night to have you... Let’s look at how he’s behaved so far. He’s taken you in, fed you, clothed you, treated you like the queen of his castle while working overtime and building a nursery. Oh, and there’s the whole wedding with honeymoon night included. Yeah, I’d say throw that one back and resign yourself to a life of celibacy.”

I bunch the pillow beside me into my fist and hit her lightly on the shoulder. “I’m serious.”

“So am I. Look, Jade, we can’t possibly know what tomorrow is going to bring any of us. We can hope for the best and prepare for the worst, but in the end, what happens, happens no matter what we do to protect ourselves and the ones we love. Maybe that’s all Rafe is doing too. Providing for you and giving your relationship a chance is the best he can do to protect you and baby Landon.”

“When you put it that way, I sound like an ungrateful bitch.”

Scarlett picks up the pillow, take a swat it at my chest, then laughs. “No. You sound like a mother wanting to protect her child. But Rafe isn’t your enemy, he’s your ally. He’s done so much changing in such a short amount of time, I feel you’ll regret it later if you don’t give him a chance.”

“I’ve been such a fool.”

“Not a fool. And not ungrateful. Give yourself some credit for being a protective mother. Rafe wasn’t exactly father material when you first met. I should know, I was with you. But I’ve got to give him credit. He’s faced the task, and he’s taken great care of you.”

I know Scarlett is trying to make me feel better, but she’s only making me feel more guilty. “I let my fears take over when I should have been listening to my heart. I’ve got to find him and apologize. He’s probably worried sick.”

“Grab a shower first.” Scarlett playfully pinches her nose. “Or grovel for forgiveness over the phone.”

I laugh and throw the pillow back at her. She catches it in her arms. “It’s late and dark outside. Do you want backup? I took the whole day off of work to help you out today.”

“Thank you.” If Rafe doesn’t accept my apology, and he’d have every right not too, I don’t want an audience. “But I think this is something I need to do alone.”

Scarlett collects the tray and leaves, and I jump in the shower and do what I can with myself. I’m in a mad rush to get to Rafe. I feel every second counts on this one.

An hour later, I’m standing outside his apartment and knocking as hard as I can, but he doesn’t open the door. Deciding I’m not taking no for an answer, I reach in my bag and rummage around only to remember I left my key on his kitchen counter when I walked out two days ago.

“Crap,” I mutter.

Rafe isn’t home. He’s at the bar bouncing already or working overtime at the pub. I take a shortcut through an alley it would kill Rafe to know I walk down to check the pub before I’m standing at the doors of Brick facing the second largest man I’ve met in my life. He’s massive, but he’s got nothing on Rafe.

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