Page 10 of Baby on Board

“Jade, Baby. Please talk to me. What’s making you so anxious?”

“I don’t know.” She puts the heel of her hand to her forehead and shakes her head. “Everything. Nothing. I just…”

My heart about rips through my ribcage when she doesn’t finish that statement. “Just what?”

She stands and turns her back to me. I let her. God, it fucking breaks my soul to watch her turn away from me, but I don’t move.

“It’s just...I saw what you did with the room and all and I…” She chokes on a sob, and I bite back a groan. I can’t watch her in this much pain and not offer support, but if I do, will it make this worse? Whatever this is.

“Come sit down,” I say. “Let me get you some water, and let’s just sit down and relax for a minute.”

“I don’t want to relax,” she turns back to me and says. There’s a fire in her eyes that makes my chest grip hard.

If she’s about to break things off with me... I’m not sure I can handle her walking out.

“What do you want, Jade? What can I do to help you?”

Her laugh is painful to my ears. It’s one beat and harsh. “I wish I knew. That’s part of the problem.” She takes a deep breath, and I watch her shoulders rise and drop. “I thought this was working. I really thought we could just go along playing house until the baby came, and everything would be fine. Like an instant family. But, I can’t do it, Rafe. I can’t pretend with you anymore?”

Her lashes are coated in tears, and her voice catches, but I don’t care about any of that. “I haven’t been pretending, Jade. I love you. I married you because I fucking love you and our child. I want you and our baby here with me. We are a real family. There’s no pretending here.”

She hears me, but I can tell by the glazed over look in her eyes she doesn’t believe a word of what I’ve said.

“You’re tired,” I add. “All those walks to the store and lunches out with Scarlett—”

“That’s not it.” She looks up to the ceiling and runs a finger under her eyes, brushing away her tears. “God, I wish that was all this is, but it’s more than being tired, or hormonal. Rafe, we don’t even know each other. How can we bring up a child together, not knowing if we can even last as partners? We rushed into a relationship and now…” she looks at me, and the sadness in her eyes cuts down to my bones. “Now, I don’t know what’s real and what’s just how I want things to be.”

I can’t hear any more of this. Jade is shredding my heart, and I can tell it’s doing the same to hers. I’m on my feet and pacing the living area away from where she’s sitting to give her space. “What are you saying you want to do then? Are you asking for more time to figure things out, or are you asking for an annulment?”

“I don’t know,” she cries, and the damn breaks.

I’ve put my heart and soul into this relationship, and I know without a shadow of a doubt I love her like I’ll never love another.

I don’t want to push her or make this any harder on her and the baby than it already is, but damn it, I need to know what her plans are. I step in front of her and do my best to cool my temper before I speak. “Tell me what you want me to do, Jade. Whatever it is, it’s done.”

She doesn’t answer for several of the worst seconds of my life. When she looks up to speak, I wish I hadn’t given her the option to. I know whatever comes next is going to hurt us both like hell.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Rafe, but I can’t stay here. Not right now, anyway. Will you take me to Scarlett’s?”

My chest tightens to the point I don’t think I’ll breathe again, but I must, for Jade. I have to be strong for her now the same as I’ll still be strong for her when our baby comes. This isn’t going to make a difference. I’ll win her back. She just needs time. At least, that’s all I hope it is.

“Why don’t you give her a call and tell her you’re coming. I’ll pack up your things and call a taxi.”

As I throw Jade’s things in the same bag she showed up with a month ago, I fear the worst. What if she doesn’t come back? What if she has my child and decides she doesn’t want me to be a part of their lives? I can’t live without her, and once I meet Baby Landon, I know, I’ll feel the same way.

But, if she wants to go, I can’t stop her. All I can do is support her and hope she realizes I’ll always be here for her.

6

Jade

It’s been two days since I showed up on Scarlett’s doorstep broken and crying. Rafe wanted to come with me to make sure I made it safely. I wouldn’t let him for fear I’d chicken out before I ever got to Scarlett’s door, and I’d go back home with him.

Every time I wake up I see his face when I said goodbye, and it guts me. So I close my eyes and fall back to sleep to hide from him and what I’ve done to us. I’m not even sure why, but the feeling of being trapped was so overwhelming I had to leave.

“You’re up.” The bedroom door pushes open, and Scarlett is in sweats with a tray in her hands. “Good. It’s about time you fed that baby.”

“Ugh,” I mutter, but my stomach is rumbling, so I sit up. “Whatever happened to the days of being too heartsick to eat?”

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