If I let her in, she’ll see it all. She’ll see how much I still love it. How much I still need it, even after all these years of pretending I don’t. She’ll see the parts of me I don’t let anyone else see. And worse?
She’ll make me want it again.
And if I let myself want it, if I step back into that world, even for her?—
I don’t know if I’ll survive it a second time.
I've been doing my best to avoid Red and her questions about songwriting. I don't regret telling her, but now I'm just not sure where to go from here. For over fifteen years, this has been a part of me that I kept private. I don't know how to share that with anyone, let alone Violet.
I should’ve known something was up when Jack and Ollie cornered me at the bar.
Jack sits on the barstool he always claims as his with his legs stretched out, arms crossed, and that shit-eating grin already in place. Ollie leans against the counter, his firefighter uniform still dusty from a call earlier, and a look that says, “I’m here to cause problems on purpose.”
I grab a rag and wipe down the bar, ignoring whatever ambush they’re brewing. “You two need something? Or just here to loiter like the freeloaders you are?”
Ollie smirks. “I'd take a burger and fries. I'm starving.”
Jack straightens, pushing his hat back on his head. “We need to talk about Violet.”
I freeze for half a second, then continue wiping down the bar like I didn’t hear him. “No, we don’t.”
“Yeah,” Ollie says, voice smug as hell. “We do.”
I exhale through my nose and brace myself.“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, tossing the rag aside and heading toward the cooler.
“Bullshit.” Ollie grabs a soda from the cooler. “You’re into her. We’ve all seen it.”
Jack nods, his grin widening. “Maggie said you practically stare at her like she’s a stack of pancakes every time she walks into the room.”
I groan. “Jesus, why is Maggie involved in this conversation?”
“Because she’s Maggie,” Jack says, shrugging. “And she loves meddling in all our lives.”
Ollie sips his soda. “So, what’s your plan here, Walker? Keep standing around all broody while Violet thinks you don’t care?”
“I don’t stand around broody.”
They both laugh.
“Dude.” Ollie points at me. “You have literally been brooding about her since she got here.”
Jack holds up a hand. “Wait—do you remember the first night she bartended with you? The man looked like he was ready to propose.”
Ollie slaps the bar. “Yes! And when she laughed at the Oompa Loompa fiasco last week? Walker made this weird face—like he got hit in the gut. He's a goner.”
I scowl. “I did not make a weird face.”
Jack tilts his head. “It was weird.”
“Super weird,” Ollie confirms.
I grit my teeth. “You two are idiots.”
“Maybe,” Jack says. “But we’re right and you like her.”
I rub a hand over my jaw. I could lie. Tell them they're off base. ButI can’t.
Because they're right.