Page 77 of Now That We Don't Talk

I watch her carefully, waiting for her to continue. Instead, she changes the subject. “I sent Katie a text earlier. I’m wondering if she’s had a chance to talk to Kyle yet.”

I lean back in my chair, exhaling slowly. “I still haven’t heard from him, so I’m hoping not.”

Vivian gives me a reassuring smile. “It’ll all be okay. Katie will make sure of it.”

I wish I shared her confidence. I clear my throat, shifting in my seat. “Talking to Katie gave me a lot to think about. It really opened my eyes.”

She tilts her head slightly. “How so?”

“Well, like I told you, she had plenty of warnings for me,” I say. “She didn’t hold back and basically implied she’d disown me if I hurt you.”

Vivian nods slowly. I can tell she’s not the least bit surprised by this.

“She also brought up the fact that I’m leaving again once the season starts,” I continue carefully, watching her expression. “I know we’ve touched on it before, but it’s been weighing on my mind more than I expected.”

She presses her lips together, her gaze dropping for a moment. She doesn’t respond, so I keep talking.

“There’s still time before that happens,” I add. “But I think it’s better to talk about it now rather than wait. I don’t want to pretend this isn’t something we’ll have to face. Andmaybe…it’ll be easier if we go back to our friends with clarity instead of uncertainty when they ask questions.”

Vivian exhales softly and meets my eyes. “I agree.”

I lean forward slightly, lowering my voice. “The truth is, I enjoy spending time with you more than I ever expected. Every moment I’m with you, it gets more intense for me…and impossible to ignore.” I pause, letting the words settle. “Honestly, I don’t even want to think about leaving—but I have to.”

Her lips part as if she’s about to say something, but instead, she simply holds my gaze for a few seconds.

“Of course you do,” she replies, her voice steady but soft. “And avoiding the subject isn’t going to change it.”

I clear my throat. “Exactly.”

A strange distance has formed between us, one that seems to be growing by the second. It’s like we’re both putting up walls. The worst part—is I don’t want to have walls between us, but maybe it’s necessary. Maybe it’s the only way to stop us from getting in too deep, forgetting what’s ahead.

“Your focus needs to be on your career,” she says, her tone turning firmer. “You have a team—your family—who depend on you. The last thing I want is to interfere with that.”

I reach across the table, taking her hands in mine, holding on tighter than I probably should. “You wouldn’t be interfering. I don’t have to choose between hockey and…this.”

She doesn’t pull away, but I can almost see the wheels turning in her head. “I know—that’s why I’m choosing for you.”

Wait—what?

I blink as I try to process what she just said.

She exhales sharply and continues. “I know myself, Mac, and I know how this will end. It’s going to be too difficult watching you leave in a few months. And I don’t want to be the reason there’s a wedge between you and Kyle.” She pauses as if she’s trying to find strength. “So, it’s probably better if we’re just friends.”

Her words hit hard.

“Vivian—that’s not—” I stop myself because I can already see it in her expression. She’s made up her mind.

Maybe she’s trying to protect herself. And I can’t blame her. I’ve been struggling with the same thoughts—the uncertainty of distance, the demands of my career, the distractions. But that doesn’t mean I want this. Just friends? It sounds so final.

I swallow the lumps that’s formed in my throat.“I understand. And I respect you so much for being honest.”

She forces a smile, nodding as if she’s reassuring herself. “I’m glad we’ve been able to get to this point.”

She has no idea. That’s why I want to resist and fight her on this, but I hold back.

“So am I.” I look down, exhaling deeply before I continue. “You’re incredible, Vivian. And anyone who’s ever said differently is wrong.” I pause. “I’m so sorry about what I said at the Thomason’s Christmas party.”

Her eyes widen. “Did Katie?—”

---