Page 73 of Now That We Don't Talk

I regret not coming home more frequently—to visit my parents and spend time with my friends. I’ve been so caught up in chasing my own ambitions that I neglected the people who truly matter. And that’s one of the reasons I’m here. Iknew I needed to step back from the chaos and take some time to figure out what I truly want. Watching Kyle and my teammates settle down one by one is a constant reminder that something is missing in my life.

I exhale before continuing. “I thought this off-season would be about slowing down, about having no commitments or complications. But then I ran into Vivian at the store, and in that moment…everything shifted. I regret not seeing how incredible she is before now and all the time I wasted being oblivious.”

And there it is—the truth.

“Does that mean you regret what you said about her at my parents’ Christmas party?” Katie interjects.

Wait—what?

I blink, trying to figure out what she’s talking about. “I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”

“Vivian heard you. The conversation you had with Jack and Tim. You went on and on about how you knew she was interested in you and always had a thing for you, but she always pretended otherwise.”

My stomach tightens. Honestly, that night is a blur. I had a few drinks, but it’s no excuse.

“I don’t remember saying that” I admit. “But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

“Vivian wouldn’t make something up that didn’t happen,” she says simply. “And let’s be honest, you’ve never dated girls like Vivian. Girls who don’t follow you around, begging to wear your jersey.”

Ouch. She’s not pulling any punches.

I exhale slowly. The regrets just keep piling on. I wish I could rewind time and undo the damage.

“So she heard it.”

“Yes,” Katie confirms. “I wanted to confront you that night, but she asked me not to.”

I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. “Thanks for telling me. I hate that I said those things. I wish I could take them back, but all I can do now is move forward and try to be better.”

“That’s great, but what happens when you leave?” she asks quietly.

The question hits me hard. I wish I had an answer. I wish I knew what the future looked like, what it meant for me and Vivian. Or if there is a chance for us.

“I don’t know,” I say honestly, my voice trailing off. The uncertainty has been looming, but right now, all I want is to soak up every moment with Vivian and not think about what’s to come.

“It needs to be addressed,” she reminds me. “Before you let this go any further.”

“You’re right.”

“In the meantime, you and Kyle need to talk and clear the air,” Katie says.

I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m trying. He hasn’t returned my messages.”

“I’ll talk to him,” she tells me.

Oh good. I was hoping she’d say that. “I’d really appreciate it. I want to be at the birthday party and be part of his wedding. Everything feels weird if we aren’t speaking.”

It’s unsettling how much this whole situation is affecting me. Even when Kyle and I went months without seeing each other, there was always this unspoken expectation that we could count on each other if we needed something.

“Okay,” Katie says, sounding satisfied. “Just promise me you’ll really give some thought to everything I said.”

“I will,” I assure her. “Thanks, Katie.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll be in touch.”

As soon as we hang up, I rub a hand over my face, exhaling heavily. That conversation gave me a lot to process. Knowing Vivian heard me talking about her makes me cringe. I wish I could remember every detail of what I said to my friends that night. It’s another mistake I can’t take back, another thing I’d do over if I had the chance.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

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