Page 53 of Their Greatest Strength

Wakingup in a new place hasn’t gotten any easier by day three.

It has less to do with the abundance of space in the room I chose and the soft king bed inside it and more with the lack of neighbourhood noises that I’m used to waking me in the middle of the night.

I’ve tried my best to let go of the fears that I grew to have in our last place, but with my several trips to the front and back doors to ensure they’re locked and moments spent in Nate’s doorway watching him sleep, I’m failing.

Every night, I’m up for hours. Only when I’m too exhausted for my body to stay alert do I finally pass out.

Jamie keeps his distance once I disappear into the bedroom, not so much as stepping foot on our side of the hall. I know that because I spent the first night with my back to my door, listening for a creak in the floors, and the second a bit further away on the rug beside the bed.

It’s ridiculous, considering I let him sleep on the floor right beside me a few nights ago. That should have permanently engrained in me that he’s safe and I’m not in danger around him. For a normal person, it would have.

It would seem that I’m far from normal.

More like severely untrusting and fit with half a decade’s worth of abandonment issues.

The lack of sleep is wearing on me now. The weight seated on my eyelids makes it hard to see anything on the TV besides blurs of bright colours. With the soft couch beneath me and the fuzzy blanket tucked around my feet, I know it’s only a matter of time before I pass out from exhaustion.

“Blakely.”

I answer with a hum, prying my eyes open. The brightness on the screen in front of me makes them burn as I blink away the tears that appear.

“You should go to bed. The couch isn’t all that great for sleeping.”

Jamie crouches in front of me and adjusts the blanket on my lower half, hiking it higher. He glances at the TV and chuckles.

“Did you notice that you’re watching cartoons?”

It’s early enough in the morning that it would make sense. “I wasn’t really watching them.”

“I know. You’re passing out instead. Is there something wrong with your bed? Or the room? I can swap you if you’re having trouble sleeping where you are.”

“It’s not the room or the bed.”

“But it’s something, right?”

With my vision free of tears, I stare at him and feel in real time as my mouth dries bit by bit.

It’s like opening a magazine to find a male model poised on the pages. Hair gelled back and face clean-shaven, Jamie stands to his full height and adjusts the sleeves of his suit jacket. The dusty-rose colour could be tacky on the wrong person, but he pulls it off with ease. His suit pants cup the thick muscles of his thighs, hardly restrained within the straight material. There’s no tie, and I think that fits him better than wearing one would.

The flexing of his fingers when he tucks one beneath the collar of his white dress shirt and tugs is dirty as fuck. Veins on aman’s hands are sexy on a good day, but toss in my sleepiness and the entire playboy in a suit thing he’s got going on, and I’m pretty much panting.

“Bandit?”

I cough, words getting caught in the knot in my throat. He drops to a crouch again and smooths his hand over my blanket-covered knee. The concern written over every inch of his face nearly does me in.

Not only is he really, really fucking hot, but he’s also one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. And I’m supposed to marry him next week?

Fuck. My. Life.

“Hey, breathe. I’ve got you, yeah?” he soothes, thumb stroking the curve of my knee.

I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on not leaning into his crowding body. “I’m good. Just tired.”

“I know. How about you take my bed while I’m gone? It’s bigger than the one you have.”

My refusal is immediate. “I’ll be fine here.”

“I’ll be back late tonight. I’m already late, and my brother’s going to chew my ear off if I don’t get out of here in the next thirty seconds. But just think about it. I’ll arm the alarm system when I leave, so just try and get some sleep.”

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