Page 35 of Matteo

Walking over to the door, I locked it and pulled the shade down. The air around me seemed feel stale and I needed something to take the edge off. Looking down at my hand, I could see that they were visibly shaking at this point.

Slowly, I rubbed them against my pant legs, trying to push the tension out.

I inhaled a few times and slowly exhaled before I pushed away from the door.

Anger began to overtake the anxiety in my body. I wanted to calm the memories that were flowing back to me. I couldstill remember the musky smell emanating from that perverted preacher’s body the first time he ever made me…

Running to the shampoo bowl, everything I’d had for lunch came up.

Green vomit went everywhere as I leaned over the black porcelain bowl.

When I was done, I dabbed at my mouth and stepped away from sink. I reached for one of the white towels that I kept on hand for drying hair and swiped at my face.

“Gross,” I shook my head.

Once I cleaned out the bowl and calmed down some, I decided to head to Noir. I just wanted to grab a beer or two before heading home.

I switched on the alarm to the shop and left. Pulling out my keys, they jingled as I twisted them in the lock.

Turning, I ran smack into a firm chest.

“Sorry,” I mumbled about to topple over.

The man steadied me, and I stepped back and found myself looking up into Kenji’s face.

“What are you doing here?”

He grinned. “You haven’t exactly been returning my calls. I’ve missed you.”

I swallowed, not in the mood to talk or to be touched. “Just trying to get myself together.”

“What does that mean?”

I sighed. “I’ve had kind of a long day.”

He leaned in. “Let me make it better.”

Kenji was a dog with a bone and he wasn’t going to stop. He would keep on until he got what he wanted. Staring over his shoulder I saw the sun beginning to sink lower and lower with each passing second.

“Look, I’ll call you,” I eased up and dropped a kiss on his cheek.

He smelled good, like some sort of soap that was familiar.

“Rain, are you okay?”

Forcing a smile, “Just a long day. But I promise I’ll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can do dinner.”

Hurrying past him, I didn’t look back.

Speeding away from the corner, I headed straight for my brother’s bar. I was sure I could score coke off someone there. Cassie had been my real connection to the good shit.

The pure shit,I thought.

It’d be risky as hell to get something off a stranger because people were dropping dead left and right from fentanyl laced crap. It was all about making a quick buck. People didn’t give a shit if you lived or died.

Surprisingly, Noir was quiet when I arrived.

Jill, one of the waitresses was behind the bar. She spotted me when I sat down and came over immediately.

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