Page 84 of Matteo

Nora, can you bring a couple of pregnancy tests when you come?

My sibling’s response came immediately.Pregnancy test? Holy fuck, you think you’re pregnant?

I could feel my sister’s excitement over a text and I knew I was anything but excited. I’d never thought about having a child.

Please just bring a few, I’ve been feeling so ill the last few weeks…I haven’t left the house much.

Whoa,Nora responded.Give me an hour, I’m still going on a few budgeting specks for my department. I’ll be there as soon as I can.

Groaning, I tossed my cell phone on the other end of the couch and scrubbed my hands over my face. On the television, the news was talking about all the festivals happening in Seattle in July. All I could think about was how hot it was outside and how I knew seemed to always be super hot.

In fact, I was sitting around in nothing but a T-shirt and some boxer pants.

Matteo’s T-shirt.

Matteo’s baby, I groaned.

I didn’t need a test to tell me that I had that man’s child growing in my stomach.

“I just need to be sure,” I stood up and started to pace when the feeling hit me again.

Getting to the bathroom in just enough time, I started to dry heave. I doubled over the toilet feeling weak, and the next thing I knew acid was surging up my throat. Yellow stomach bile had forced its way up and out of my mouth. Dabbing at my raw chapped lips, the aftertaste had me wanting to wretch again.

Groaning I studied my reflection in the mirror. “Just one time… I knew I never should have fucked that man. Ugh.”

Please, girl, he said all the right things, and then his crazy ass mama showed up,I shook my head and opened the medicine cabinet. Snagging the Vaseline jelly stick from inside, I uncapped it and stormed away while rubbing it over my lips.

“And you know,” I stared down at my stomach. “I never should have even let him get a whiff of my drawers. I should have known it was gonna be some shit with him. At least with regular assholes, I knew what I was getting into. That whole nice guy routine my ass…”

And this had been the entire conversation for a couple of days. Me talking to a barely formed bean who probably didn’t even have a mouth yet.

I paced for a little while longer, feeling thirsty as hell. I’d been in the cycle. Nausea. Vomiting. Nausea.Thirsty. Vomiting.Nausea. Thirsty. I’d eat here and there but I could barely even keep food down.

An hour later Nora was walking through the door, her armes weighed down with a multitude of pregnancy test she could find and concern rolling out of her pores. She spilled them onto my coffee table right next to where my tarot cards lay.

I hadn’t read them since…

Matteo, I finished the thought.

“So…which one should you pee on first?” Nora looked between the pink and white box in one hand and me.

“I want to scream because there is absolutely no way I’m… I can’t be a mom, Nora,” I took a deep breath.

“Pee first, decide that later…”

Snatching the box from my sister, I fought back the urge to cry before heading to the bathroom. This wasn’t my first pregnancy test, but it was my first time knowing without a doubt that the lines would be there.

When I was finished peeing on the stick, I sat it on the bathroom counter and walked out.

Nora was sitting on the couch texting Mason but she stopped when I approached.

“You didn’t mention this to Mason, did you?”

She shook her head, her hair giving a soft sway. She’d taken out her extensions and was rocking a natural bob. “No, just told him I was stopping by.”

Taking a breath I sat down. “Good.”

Nora studied me for a moment. “You know, Rain, you’re not alone in this. But why would you be worried about Mason knowing if you were pregnant?”

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