Page 22 of Derick

“Derick, I could only dream of getting into university and doing as well as you have. I know you want to spend time with Hope and I, but I would have done anything to have the schooling you’ve had. I never got to go to school, and child services never came or helped me. I learned that besides my birth certificate, I don’t exist. Did you know before being rescued, I’d only had the vaccinations you get at birth, andI hadn’t been to the doctors, except for when I went to the hospital. From what I learned, people were too scared of my father’s gang to investigate about me or any of the others. And the cops that investigated the club had accidents or never came back again.”

I blinked as Stephan came and took Hope. I’d been so determined to get my reasons why it was important he went back to university out that I’d gotten lost in telling Derick about all the things I never had. I watched as Stephan took a bouncing Hope on his shoulder and she squealed as she pointed out Brand coming with the puppy, who bound over to them, looking for attention. I gave a chin lift to show my thanks before turning my focus back to Derick.

His blond locks were covering his eyes again. I wanted to brush the strands to the side and behind his ear, more than I wanted to take my next breath. Stepping closer, so I was almost against him, I breathed deeply and quickly brushed the strands behind his ears. I let my breath out and took in a deep gulp of him, letting his scent wash over me.

“I want you to go back to university. I want to learn too,” I said.

The urge to touch him rode me hard, and I gave in to what I wanted. Reaching out, I went up on tiptoes and caressed his cheek.

“I like you,” I told him. “I want to touch you. Um, er…not like, um…well, yes, like that.”

I knew my skin would be bright red, but my stutter wasn’t back, but I couldn’t find the words. My stomach flip-flopped as he closed the small gap between us, bringing me against his chest. I could feel his hot breath and smell his lemon scent.

“I’ll support you in whatever venture you want to take,” he said. “I’ll help you with wh?—”

“No,” I interrupted him. I needed him to know that he’d already done so much. “You have given me opportunities and done things for me that only months ago I wouldn’t have even dreamed of. You need to start thinking of yourself. I don’t want you to keep your life on hold while you shower me with everything I could ever need and more.”

Wanting to show him that I didn’t just appreciate what he did for me, but that he took his time and was patient with me, I brushed my lips over his. Derick’s arms wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me, so it became easier to deepen our kiss.

I basked in feeling loved and my body coming to life in all the right ways. From the first moment I met Derick, he had my heart racing, and I’d never felt so safe in anyone else’s embrace, even maybe my brother’s.

He was the one to slow the kiss when my hands went under his shirt and ran up his chest. “As much as I want this to go further, I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for. I want you to be ready for us to take our relationship further. I know now isn’t the time.” He caressed my cheek. “I’ll go back to uni if you agree to enroll in TAFE and go in person to get your schooling?”

In that moment, I knew I had made the right choice, not just leaving the house I was in with the other women, but being with Derick, moving in, and becoming a part of the Silverman family. “Yes.” I said it with no doubt that I would have not just Derick’s backing if I went to TAFE, but his parents too.

I had a support that I would be forever grateful for and was ready to move forward in all aspects of my life.

“Ruby, where are you?”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled as my gaze that had been staring out the window turned to Dr. Heather. “I’m here.” I wasn’t. I was nervous about starting TAFE and leaving Hope with the Silvermans for so long while I was there.

“No. No, you’re not. This is the first time you’ve looked at me this session. You are not in this room with me. Where are you, Ruby?” She raised her brow, and I tried not to get lost in my thoughts again.

“I’m living in…in a dream.” I blinked and leaned back on the sofa.

“Why do you think that?” She followed my lead and settled into her chair.

“I shouldn’t trust them, sh…should I? It’s all too perfect? I…I mean, I said, I said, yes and moved in here without a second thought? Why d…did I do that?”

“Is trusting them so quickly why you think you’re living a dream?”

“You didn’t ask w…who ‘them’ are?” I wasn’t in the mood for this session today.

“And you keep avoiding my questions.”

It was because I didn’t know how to answer her. My brain was busy, but it was all a jumbled mess. It had always been a little chaotic. Dr. Heather had said she thought it was because it helped with the abuse I’d suffered. Today was a bad day. My stutter was back, and I hated that because I’d been doing so well.

“How about we try discussing how you’re feeling about starting TAFE?” she said. “Have you spoken to your brother? He should be back soon too?”

I knew what she was doing, and I loved that she knew when to leave what we were talking about alone and let me think. Dr. Heather didn’t push me. The other therapists at the house had pushed, and I hated it, because it made my stutter so prominent that I got to the stage I couldn’t talk.

“You haven’t talked much about your brother in our sessions, and I want to know how you feel about him now that you’re free.”

“W…wh…why would I feel different? Sh…sh…should I?” Toby was my lifeline, the only person who showed love to me besides Hope, or he had been. He’d been my only friend for as long as I could remember. He’d helped me save women, and he’d gotten some of our other brothers and sisters to safe places. He fixed me up when our father would hurt me and kept me alive. He paid for everything when I moved and kept me safe.

“I didn’t say you needed to feel different. I asked if you did? You’ve had some major changes happen and have learned what you should have had all your life. You saved so many women.” She reached across and touched my hand, but she snatched her hand back when I flinched at her touch. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you.”

The Silvermans, besides my brother and daughter, were still the only people I didn’t flinch from when touched. I knew I needed to work on it, especially if I was going to go to TAFE. So I reached out and grabbed her hand.

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