Page 18 of Derick

We played for a couple of minutes before I started the talk I’d been wanting to have for days. “Hope, how do you feel about Derick?”

“Iza loves Drrk.”

“I’m happy you like him. How would you feel if Derick and Mummy started dating?”

“What’s dating?” Hope cocked her head.

I had read books and asked advice in my online mothers’ group on how to explain things to Hope. “Dating is when a couple decides to see if they like each other. Sometimes it doesn’t work, and they part ways and you don’t really see them after. Butsometimes they really like each other and they become boyfriend and girlfriend, and then some even get married.”

She patted the sandcastle we’d built. “Likeded if I wanna marry Drrk.”

“Oh honey, you can’t marry Derick if he’s your daddy.”

“Why?” She stood and placed her little hands on her hips and stared down at me, waiting. But before I could answer, she cried out then sit down again. “Iza loves him.” Her bottom lip trembled, and I knew she was close to crying.

“I know you do, sweetheart, and there is no doubt that he loves you too, but his love for you is like a daddy to their daughter, a child. It’s how Nanny loves Derick. How I love you. I’m talking about me dating Derick. I like him. He’s nice to me and you like him too.”

She jumped up and did a little dance. “Yes. Yes, Mummy. I loves yous and Drrk. Iza have a mummy and a daddy now.”

Sighing, I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to think of a better way to explain things. I didn’t want to get her hope up. “Baby, I like Derick and the Silverman family, but you need to know that sometimes dating doesn’t work. I wanted to tell you, so you know that if anything happens between Derick and I and our dating doesn’t work, I don’t want you to get sad and think you had anything to do with it. It will be a grown-up thing. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I love you, and the Silverman family will be there for you too.” I really hoped that Derick and his family kept their promise about Hope always being a part of their family.

She was quiet for a long time, and then she smiled. “Oktay. I loves yous soo much.” She kissed my cheek and hugged me, and I knew that I’d done it right. At the very least, I’d eased my own worry.

Iwas going on a date. I’d never been on one, so I was nervous and excited at the same time. My stomach flip-flopped, my hands felt itchy, and I didn’t know if I wanted to run or just hide.

Romance books were one of my favorite genres to read, so I had an idea of what a date was supposed to be like. TV shows had given me an idea about what to expect too, but I didn’t even have girlfriends to ask about dates either. Cassie and I were getting closer, and she was a friend, but new enough that I wasn’t comfortable to call her or just go around to her place and ask for advice.

Everything I wore tonight was new from the matching lacy, blue set of underwear to the socks, joggers, black shorts, and purple flower power top. I’d been wearing my flip-flops lately with the heat. I hadn’t wanted to chance ruining my new things for just hanging around the house. This was special though.

Hope was with Derick’s parents, and she hadn’t even cared that I was going out without her. She’d waved me off as I got into the black SUV. Derick and I were in the backseat and Dean, a part of their security team, was our driver.

My knee bounced, and my stomach danced with butterflies. I was growing to like…no, I was maybe even falling for Derick. My brother was the one person besides Hope that I loved. He was the only person I remember being nice to me. Derick’s whole family treated me better than I’d ever been.

Derick was helping me apply to get my education. I was using a laptop that he had given me. He said it was his old one, but I had a feeling he was lying. Hope had an Apple iPad that Derick’s parents had gotten her. They spoiled her rotten, and after the life we’d had, I’d never deny her being given what she deserved.

I was falling for Derick not because of everything he’d bought for Hope and I, but how he treated my daughter and I. He read to Hope every night. He showed me how to use the laptop. It was different to the public computers at the library. My brother had let me use his computer, but I was always hesitant as I didn’t want him punished by our father. He’d done that before when he’d found out my brother had done something for me or been nice.

After telling me about his family and what I was to him, Derick hadn’t pressured me into anything I didn’t want. He hadn’t gotten angry with me once when I hadn’t known how to cook things or what certain foods were. I’d lived on a super tight budget. I’d seen all the items in the shops when I’d gone, but they’d been out of my price range, so I hadn’t bothered to get to know what they were.

He didn’t get annoyed when he spent money on me or Hope. I didn’t drive or have any identification. I had a birth certificate, but not anything else. I worked cash in hand jobs, and my brother had paid for the tiny apartment Hope and I had lived in. The halfway house had helped me set up Centerlink payments and all the help I needed for Hope and Medicare also. I hadn’t gone to school.

I’d taught myself to read, and everything I knew I’d learned from books, TV, and watching the world around me. My brother helped when he could, but our dad kept a watchful eye on him. I think he knew Toby was nothing like him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Derick lightly touched my arm. I blinked and turned from the window.

Giving a mental head shake to bring my focus back to the here and now, I looked at Derick. His beard was neatly trimmed, his brown gaze soft and warm, and his blond hair had been cut recently. I had a moment of sadness for not getting to run my fingers through it again before it was chopped off. I wasn’t used to the short length and missed his long, silky locks. He was a good-looking man before with the unkept beard and shaggy hair, but now he looked like he belonged on TV or in the movies. He wore a dark-blue dress shirt with tiny, white swirls on it and black jeans with leather-like shoes. When I’d come down the steps and first saw him tonight, my breath had caught, and I wanted to throw myself at him.

“What do you meanpenny? What is that?” I’d never heard of a penny before. Well, that wasn’t true. In movies set in old times I’d heard talk about them, but I hadn’t watched many really old movies or taken notice. This was when it showed I hadn’t gone to school.

I shrank in the seat as he chuckled, he stopped when I moved out of his touch. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. I was more or less laughing at myself. I forgot that most people our age don’t really know about pennies or old sayings like what I just said. I had tutors when I was younger, and one was an older English lady, and she would have all these sayings like the one I just asked you.” I wiggled up a little, getting comfortable again. “A penny is a coin. So the saying means I’ll give you a penny if you tell me what you’re thinking.”

“My thoughts aren’t that interesting. I want to say thank you for all you’ve done for me and Hope. You’ve not just given me things I never thought I’d have, but you’ve given me more than I could even dream about having, like a bunch of girlfriends and a big, loving family. I may not be a part of it yet really, but the welcome you’v?—”

His index finger came to rest against my lips, stopping what I was babbling about. “Yes. You’re a part of the family. I promise that no matter what happens between us you will always have my family. I want this to work. This will work. I feel it here.” He tapped his chest. “You’re mine.”

I nodded. “I want this to work too. I like you, and I’ve never liked another man besides my brother.” My mind swirled with all the things I’d never had, and when I really thought of it, most of the new things I was experiencing and seeing were stuff that most people knew, or I thought they did. I was never sad about missing out on school, but since being free, it was just another thing to be angrier with my father about.

“Your brother comes home in a couple of weeks. Are you looking forward to it?” Derick asked.

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