Page 59 of Stephan

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Jade

I’d done my trial HSC and gotten great scoresback, which gave me hope for the real thing. School holidaysstarted this afternoon, but with the real HSC happening when we getback I’d be spending it studying.

Friday my last period was free and usually Igot a lift home with Derick who had a free period also, but today Idecided to go to the library. I stood outside of a classroomopposite the door, leaning against a wall, and waiting for Stephan.I’d never done anything like this before. Most of the time Stephanwas the one waiting for me or I waited for him just before the doorleading out of the school. After the shooting and everything thathappened, we’d changed the meet place.

Nibbling on my bottom lip nervously, I toldmyself I wasn’t being one of those needy girlfriends. That I didn’tfollow Stephan around like a puppy waiting for any scraps he waswilling to throw my way. Stephan told me he loved me and he waitedfor me all the time. My problem was even though I knew I lovedStephan and trusted him and I’d forgiven him for leaving me, Istill couldn’t bring myself to tell him any of that. I was scared,because no matter what, there was doubt.

Now I had gotten back my trial HSC results, Iwas thinking about my future a lot. Where I wanted to be next yearand what I wanted to do. Earlier in the library I had looked upstudent loans for university and the university courses I wanted totake. The more I looked the more I wondered what Stephan would do.Where he would go? What would happen to us? What did he expect tohappen? When my thoughts had steered in that direction I’d startedto feel physically ill, which caused me to realize how much Ireally cared and loved Stephan. I’d wanted to run home then, but itoccurred to me home wasn’t really mine, it was Stephan’s parent’shouse. I didn’t have a home.

Stephan and I needed to talk and I wasn’tlooking forward to it one bit. I was terrified. When he got out Iwas going to ask him to drive us to the beach or somewhere we couldtalk. I needed to be on mutual ground. A place that wasn’t hisfamily’s.

The bell rang and I straightened, moving downand away from the door so I didn’t get trampled but still in theline of sight for Stephan to see me. The hall had been empty beforebut was now filled with teenagers. The door to the classroom openedand students flowed out, Stephan one of the last. A girl I’d seenbefore, called Britney, I think, was talking to him and flirting. Iwasn’t worried though because when Stephan saw me his whole facelit up. His big baby blues brightened and his dimples popped makinghim irresistibly handsome.

Stephan came straight to me ignoring the girlhe’d been talking with. “Hey, little bit.” He leaned down andkissed me, his lips fusing to mine and sending delicious warmththrough me.

Smiling, I wrapped my arm around his waist.“Hi, I decided to wait.”

“I’m glad you did.”

We exited the school together and I held himtight snuggling against him. I loved how affectionate Stephan was.I’d never had much before Stephan, so I lapped it up with him.

I didn’t say anything until we were in thecar and out of school grounds. “Can we go to the beach or a park,somewhere we can talk?”

“Er…yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“Nothing is up, well there is, but I thinkonce we talk and find out what’s going on there won’t be.”

“Jade, you’re making me nervous.”

Nibbling on my lip I gazed out of the window.I wanted to tell him there was no reason to be nervous, but I wasmyself so I couldn’t lie to him. He went to Central Reed CreekPark.

Getting out we sat on the bench by a hugetree. “Will you tell me now what’s up?”

“What university are you going to nextyear?”

“I was looking into two. I had wanted to bewith Derick. The best two for my business courses are Newcastle andLabrador on the Gold Coast Queensland. They have it at other Unisbut they have really big class sizes and I’ve not heard of theteachers.”

I had looked at Newcastle, it had my coursesbut I wasn’t sure about how easy it would be to get a job there. Ihadn’t looked into any out of state universities. The one thatlooked most appealing to me had been Sydney University. I hadpeople I knew who already wanted to go there and I knew I could geta job. Did this mean Stephan and I wouldn’t be together nextyear?

I was scared but this had to be said. Takinga deep calming breath, I gazed at Stephan. “I was thinking SydneyUniversity. So where does that leave us?”

“What the fuck?” He gathered me onto his lapand squeezed me tight against him. “What do you mean where doesthat leave us? It leaves us together. It leaves us sitting heretalking about our options, because I can tell you now I will bewith you. You will be with me. You’re mine. My soul mate. The loveof my life. We just need to figure out what’s best. Have you lookedat either of the universities I’ve mentioned?”

He stroked my back in a soothing motion. “Ihaven’t looked out of state. I did a quick search on Newcastle, andthey have the courses I want, but I’m not sure I could get a jobeasily there.”

“Why would you need a job?”

“To help with rent and food. I can’t livewith your parents forever. The Centerlink benefits won’t be enough,not with everything I’ll need for my course.”

Stephan sighed. “Let’s say for a moment youdidn’t need to work. Where would you go?”

“I don’t know because it isn’t an option. Iknow I qualify for a government student loan, but it pays for Uninot anything else.”

“Jade, you don’t. Not now my parents wereappointed your guardians.”

“Wha? No. I’m eighteen now. They do—”

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