Page 49 of April

“Well, I don’t want to date how you date, and I’d like to actually meet a woman I want to sleep with one day. I mean, what’s that like?”

“What’s what like? Sex with women?”

“Yes. You had a woman who was a sure thing today, and that happens a lot for you. How is it, sex with women? Let me know. I’ll just live vicariously, and then, if I meet one, great.”

Linden turned to her and replied, “Sex with women is different every time, just like it is with guys. You know that.”

“Yes. But you clearly like it. You do it all the time.”

“I do not.” Linden laughed a little. “I meet up with a few women a week, yes, but I don’t sleep with all of them.”

The streetlight signal changed, so they resumed walking.

“What’s your percentage?” Asher asked.

“Of sex to no sex?”

“Yeah.”

“Ash, come on…” Linden chuckled nervously as they walked across the street.

“No, I want to know.”

“It’s not like I keep track.”

“You have an actual app that tracks your chat history, right? I’m sure you can look through it and recall the nights you got laid and the ones where you didn’t.”

“Ash, stop.”

Asher arrived on the sidewalk and did just that; stopped. Linden stopped, too, and looked away from her.

“I knew for years that I was gay.”

“I know that,” Asher said, looking at her friend, concerned that she’d said something wrong now.

“Year and years, I held it in. I dated and slept with guys that I wasn’t even remotely attracted to.”

“Linden, I’m sorry if I said–”

“Everyone thinks I’m sleeping with a different woman every night. I’m not.”

“I know that. I’m–”

“You’re just now figuring out this amazing part of yourself, and I think that’s great. I fully support whatever you need to do. If you want to delete your profile and the app, do so. If you need me somewhere to try to help you meet women, I’m there. If you don’t want anything to do with women after tonight, fine.” Linden finally looked at her. “It’s not sex with women that I’m after, Asher. It never really was. I didn’t know who I was when this first started. I mean, as a lesbian. I didn’t know much beyond what I’d seen on TV and in movies before I came out, okay?”

“Okay. Yeah.”

“I also want to find someone, just like you do,” Linden added. “I just wanted to be ready for her when I did.”

“Ready?”

“Yes. Knowing who I am in all respects, including sex. I wanted to know whatIwant and how to give her whatshewants. I’m learning that I don’t like certain kinds of dirty talk, for example, and that I’m starting to feel like sex with someone I don’t know isn’t what I’m looking for now. It’s been a process for me, multiple steps, and it hasn’t been easy.”

“I’m sorry if I said something that makes you think I’m not supportive of whatever you need, Linden.”

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault. Tonight was just a weird night.”

“You know you didn’t have to come and rescue me, right? I would have gotten the check and been fine.”

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