Page 17 of April

“But then, you saidduring, so I got confused.” Linden looked away from her. “So, you told him that you didn’t love him, right?”

“Not exactly. He told me I wasn’t ready to hear that he loved me, and that was pretty much it. He left after that.”

“This fool said that he loved you and thentoldyou that you weren’t ready to hear it?” Linden turned back to her, looking upset. “What is his deal? You don’t tell the most amazing woman in the world that you love her and then suggest she isn’t ready to hear it. I’ve never been to his place. What’s his address? I need to smack him.”

Asher didn’t laugh at the last part of Linden’s monologue, though, because she was too busy thinking about the part where Linden had called her ‘the most amazing woman in the world.’

“It’s fine. If he calls, I’ll just tell him again that it’s over, and hopefully, he can move on.”

“Ash, what happened, though? I know it was only fine, but you were okay with that. Now, suddenly, you aren’t anymore?”

“I think it’s a combination of things,” she began. “The bride yesterday really shook me up.”

“Oh,” Linden said and nodded in realization. “You saw yourself at the altar with him, and it wasn’t a joyous thought?”

“I couldn’t even see him up there with me at all. I don’t want that for myself, Linden. I don’t wantfine. I don’t just want someone my family will be happy with. I don’t want to get married just to do it. I’m thirty-seven. I’ve waited this long to find someone. I want it to be the right someone.”

“I get that. I’m thirty-five, and I want that, too.”

“You want thatlater,” Asher replied. “I’d like it any day now.”

“Not too much later. It’s not like I want to be going out every night well into my forties. I barely woke up at ten in the morning today because I was so tired from last night.”

Asher chuckled, licked her lips, and decided it was now or never. She could learn something from her best friend who had hidden a part of herself for so long, it had done a little damage, and she was only now starting to fix that damage and live the life that she actually wanted to live.

“I think I’m having a realization,” she said hesitantly.

“A realization?”

“I said the bride was part of it.”

Linden turned and sat with her legs crossed, facing her, and Asher thought about the last time she was talking seriously to Gavin. It had been about meeting his parents one day and him meeting hers. They’d had the TV on, and he had been watching some game that Asher hadn’t been paying attention to because she’d been working on her computer minutes before he had brought up the serious topic. While they talked, he had kept his eyes on the TV. They had been discussing taking thisimportant step together, but his eyes couldn’t be pulled away from whatever sport was on the television. Linden, on the other hand, had turned her entire body toward Asher and was now sitting patiently, not begging her to reveal what was in her head but still managing to give her the space to do so when Asher was ready.

“I’ve done a lot of thinking these past few months.”

Linden didn’t say anything, and her eyes, which were so intense, didn’t leave Asher’s, so Asher had to look away toward the wineglass in her hand. She lifted it to her lips and drank most of the wine before she lowered it back into her lap. Then, she cleared her throat, expecting Linden to fill the silence between them, but Linden just sat there, waiting for her to finish. It was unnerving and perfect at the same time.

“So, I think I might not be exactly…” She cleared her throat again and stared down at the deep red liquid that was slowly swirling around her wineglass. “I might not be one-hundred-percent heterosexual.”

Having said that, Asher looked up quickly, expecting a reaction, and Linden’s eyebrow lifted, but she still didn’t say anything.

“I mean straight. I might not be straight.”

Linden’s eyebrow lowered, but she nodded.

“Linden, say something already.”

Linden took the glass from Asher’s hands, downed the rest of the wine in one gulp, set the glass on the table, turned back to Asher, and took both of her hands in her own.

“Tell me more.”

“More? What’s more than that?”

“Well, you said something pretty big there, Ash, but it’s not the whole story, so tell me the story.”

“There’s not a story. I just realized that I don’t only like men.”

“You don’tonlylike men? Meaning that you like menandwomen?”

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