Page 34 of The Summer House

Chapter Eight

“You all right?” Rick asked, giving Mandy a quick look as they drove north from Los Angeles.

“Sure.” She smoothed the hem of her shorts and smiled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

There was a question he couldn’t answer. If he could, he probably wouldn’t be wondering about it in the first place.

Something was different.Shewas different. He couldn’t figure out what it was, but he sensed it with a certainty that made the hairs at the back of his neck stand up.

The feeling had first come over him sometime in the night. He’d awakened to find Mandy on her side, awake and watching him. When he’d asked her what was wrong, she hadn’t answered. Instead she’d slid close and started making love with an intensity that had left him shuddering and out of breath.

They’d made love before and the experience had been extraordinary. He tried to tell himself that what had happened to them in the middle of the night was no different, but he didn’t believe the words. Ithadbeen different and he couldn’t say why.

Then, this morning, Mandy hadn’t been herself. She’d been friendly enough, and affectionate. Their shower together was proof of that. But there had been something in her eyes. Something that had made him wonder if she was having second thoughts about being with him.

He didn’t want to think that, mostly because they were so good together. Yesterday had been proof of that.

Beside him she gave a sigh. “I’m sorry, Rick,” she said. “I have a lot on my mind. Cassie should be arriving in a day or so. While I’m really looking forward to hanging out with her, it’s going to change things with you and me. We won’t be spending as much time together. Which is probably a good thing. I mean you have work and all, right?”

He nodded because he didn’t know what to say. He thought about explaining that while he loved his job, it wasn’t his world. At least not by choice. He’d always planned that, when he finally met someone and got married again, he would back off on the hours, maybe work something closer to a nine-to-five schedule.

She turned and looked out the window. While Rick believed what she said, he sensed there was more. But what could it be? He thought about the previous day—the time they’d spent with Eva. Thinking about the little girl made him smile. With her big eyes and generous smile, she was something of a charmer. He’d enjoyed his day with her. A few hours in her presence had clarified Mandy’s desire to adopt the little girl. It didn’t take much of an imagination to see himself with her. There would be—

He mentally put on the brakes, then backed up big time.See himself with her?Was he crazy? Mandy was the one looking to adopt Eva, not him. Sure he’d had a good time with the kid, but that wasn’t the same as taking on a lifetime of commitment. Unlike Mandy, he couldn’t see himself as a single parent. But with a wife…with someone who shared his dreams, his goals, his heart. Someone like Mandy.

Instead of the freeway, he suddenly saw himself with Evaandwith Mandy. He saw other children, too. A future, a family.

The clarity and details stunned him, as did the tightness in his chest and the sense of longing.

What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn’t possibly have feelings for Mandy. Not now. Not after all this time. No way. Been there, done that. There was no point in taking that road again. He absolutely refused to be falling for her.

He blinked and the vision disappeared. Rather than risk it returning, he concentrated on his driving. At the turnoff for Carpinteria, he turned left without asking if she wanted to go home just yet.Heneeded some time alone to think.

When he reached the beach house, he parked in front. Mandy turned to him.

“I had a really good time,” she said, an odd light in her eyes. “I appreciate your help yesterday.”

His throat felt scratchy and it was difficult to speak. “I enjoyed it, as well. I’m glad things went well with Eva.”

There was an awkward pause, something he didn’t expect with Mandy. They were supposed to get along perfectly. Hadn’t they always? In the past couple of weeks, words hadn’t been their problem.

She shrugged, then reached into the back seat for her small overnight bag. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Sure.”

There was so much more he wanted to say. Or was there? Nothing made sense. He wanted…

He didn’t know what he wanted, so he let her go. She walked up to the duplex, turned and waved, then disappeared inside. He put the car in gear and headed back to the freeway.

But as he drove, he had the strong sense of just having lost something important. No. That wasn’t right. He hadn’t lost anything. He and Mandy would still see each other from time to time. The point of this exercise had been to get to know each other again and find closure. They were divorced and had been for years. Why was he rocking the boat now?

He didn’t have that answer, or any others. Telling himself that if they tried again, they would only get the same result didn’t help. Mandy had insisted that people changed. Thattheyhad changed. The results wouldn’t be the same. He almost believed her.

Then, as he headed north to Santa Barbara, he reached the core of the dilemma. If they were different, were they different enough? Could he trust her not to run? Could she trust him to stay emotionally connected? Had they learned what they needed to in order to make things work a second time around?

The questions stunned him. For the first time in eight years, he didn’t know where he stood with Mandy. He felt confused and cautious, yet sure.

In the past eight years, there hadn’t been one other woman to come close to capturing his heart. He’d dated them, slept with them, traveled with them, all the while staying emotionally unengaged. He’d thought there might be something wrong with him. Was it that, or was it something else?

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