Page 18 of The Summer House

“I was young, too. Young and foolish with a lot of unrealistic expectations.” She tucked the covers under her arms. “I used to watch my dad with all the women in his life. I don’t remember how he was with my mom before she died, but after, he treated his girlfriends like pets or toys. They were easily discarded. I always wanted to be more than that. I wanted to be…everything to the man in my life.”

Rick winced. “That was probably the one thing I didn’t want you to be.”

“I know. You had your studies, which took up so much time. I wanted you to focus on me, and I wasn’t willing to go find other interests. I didn’t make friends, I didn’t continue going to college.”

“We moved across the country,” he reminded her. “You were all alone.”

“Making excuses for me?” she asked with a smile.

“Trying to see both sides.”

“I do that, too. With that pesky wisdom of hindsight, I know now that I should have gotten a life of my own instead of expecting you to be everything to me. If I’d had my own friends and things to do, I wouldn’t have spent so much time waiting for you to come home. I wouldn’t have resented your long hours, the study groups, the dinners with your professors.”

“Then I dragged in late, wanting sex rather than conversation. I’m sorry, Mandy.”

“Me, too.” She sighed. “The harder I tried to pull you to me, the more you pushed back. I felt you slipping away and I didn’t know what to do.”

He nodded. “Instead of talking about what was wrong, I ignored it, and you. I think we both wanted the other to give in, so we could each be right.”

She tilted her head and studied him. “For a scientific nerd type, you know a lot about people.”

“I’ve learned some. I’m still learning. Light particles make a whole lot more sense to me, though.” He shifted so he was lying on his side, facing her. “I remember the first time I saw you. I took one look into those pretty green eyes and knew you were the one. What happened to that?”

His question made her sad. She hadn’t been the one…not for him. He’d let her go without a backward glance. Of course, she’d done the same with him.

“It got lost,” she said.

“Too many maybes,” he told her. “Maybe if I’d responded to your needs better. Maybe if you’d fit in to our life in Boston more. Maybe, maybe, maybe.”

“And now everything is different.”

So different, she thought. She’d finally figured out how to make her life work. If she’d stayed with Rick, would that have happened? So many things would have been different. She might never have found her way into her current teaching position. She might never have met Eva.

“What?” he asked. “I saw something in your eyes. Something I can’t explain.”

“Eva,” she said, knowing right away what he meant. “I was thinking that if you and I had stayed together, my life would be really different. I wouldn’t have met her.”

“Who is she?”

“A little girl in my class. She’s eight. She’s one of the kids with Down syndrome. She’ll never have a regular life like everyone else, but I see so much potential in her. She’s a sweet spirit slowly being crushed to death in foster care. Her parents were both kids on the street. Her mother was into drunks. We think her father was killed in a drive-by shooting. Eva’s been in and out of foster care for years. Her mother kept taking her back, then abandoning her. A few months ago, Eva was made a ward of the state.”

Mandy recited facts, but Rick could easily see past them. “What are you waiting for?” he asked. “Or have you already started the adoption procedure.”

Mandy looked surprised. “Is it that obvious?”

“It is to me.”

She sighed. “The situation is complicated. If I adopted her, I would be a single mother. Eva deserves a lot of individual attention. How much would I be able to give her, working all the time?”

“Wouldn’t your schedules be similar?”

“Most of the time. But not all of it. There are some financial issues, too. My dad has offered to help, but I hate the idea of sponging off him. It’s a big step and I’m trying to figure out if it’s one I’m prepared to take on my own.”

Earlier he’d asked if there was anyone special in her life. Now Mandy had confirmed she was alone. Rick couldn’t figure out why some guy hadn’t snapped her up years ago. She was pure fantasy material. Even though they’d just made love, knowing that she was less than two feet away, and naked, made him hard.

But it was more than sex, he told himself. He enjoyed talking to her. Being around her. Why wouldn’t she be chasing off men with a stick?

“Why have you been avoiding Mr. Right?” he asked.

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