Page 32 of Thrust Me Daddy

But then it was like something changed.

I still can’t put my finger on it.

First, Trent had an overnight surfing trip with Ranger. This was fine, because I knew that surfing was a big part of Trent’s life and totally respected that.

But just as Trent got back from his trip, I was given a last minute long-haul drive across country that actually took the best part of seventy-two hours to complete.

When I got home I was way too exhausted to hang out with Trent, and as it turned out he wasn’t even home anyway. Trent had gone on a business trip with Reece to look at some property that the pair of them were considering buying near Chase Lagoon.

So far, so frustrating, right?

We met for a coffee together a few days later, but both of us just seemed distracted. Trent had a surf exhibition he was taking part in later that week so he was conscious about getting enough practice in on the waves to do himself and his reputation justice.

Meanwhile, I knew that Xander was prepping a busy few days for me in terms of deliveries and also some site work so that the Tornados training facility could be signed off as complete and on time.

All in all, it meant that not only was mine and Trent’s coffee date a rushed affair, we couldn’t even make any concrete plans to meet later.

And all this was over a week ago now too…

‘Atty, I don’t want to say it out loud,’ I say, reaching out and stroking Att’s fluffy head. ‘But… maybe me and Trent just aren’t meant to be?’

I take a deep breath and try not to get too emotional.

After all, I’m driving a super-powerful truck and need to keep as focused as I possibly can. It’s not just my life at risk when I’m behind the wheel, it’s everyone else on the road too.

‘Okay, I think I need to pull over,’ I say, knowing that I’m coming up to a roadside layby.

As I ease on the break and take the truck offroad, I feel a slightly manic energy coming over me. All of my thoughts and feelings toward Trent are bubbling up and I’m finding it harder to think with a clear head.

As I turn the truck’s engine off, I immediately reach for my cell phone and begin tapping out a message to Trent…

MIKEY: Hey. I don’t know how to say this but I think maybe we need to think about things. It’s definitely not you, or me either. But… this just isn’t working, is it? Please don’t call. I don’t want a big conversation. I just… I need some time alone. I’m sorry.

I hit send and immediately turn my cell phone off and toss it into the rear seats behind me.

‘Was that the right thing to do?’ I say to Atty, a tear rolling down my eye. ‘I thought me and Trent might be forever, but…’

I try to slow my breathing down and stop and more tears from forming, but it’s a hopeless task.

I’m not sure if sending that message was the right option, or totally crazy. But I’ve done it now and I’m going to have to live with the consequences.

Trent is a good man, certainly one of the best I’ve ever met. He deserves a boy who can be there for him and give him all of his time. I just don’t see how I’ll ever be able to do that.

Trucking is a huge part of who I am – it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, and I can’t ever see myself not doing it.

Yuck, this sucks ass – and not in the good way.

But despite feeling like absolute crap, I know that I’ve still got a job to do. I’ve only lost a few minutes, and with a clear road ahead it shouldn’t be long before I’m powering ahead and making that time up again.

Yes, things may have gone wrong with Trent. That’s horrible and I know it’s going to take a while for me to get over it.

However that doesn’t mean I’m about to let Xander and the rest of the Construction Boys down.

No, I’m going to get my truck moving and put my heartache to one side.

As I pull out onto the road and put my foot to the floor, I wipe away one last tear and try to think of the future – namely making this delivery on time and proving to my fellow Littles that I’m the best truck driver a construction crew could dream of.

‘Usual, dear?’ Cheryl-Anne says as I walk up to the service counter of her delightful diner.

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