Page 33 of On the Edge

“You just talked about his hair for two minutes straight. I was sitting here listening and trying to picture his hair, but I can’t because I’ve never noticed before. Want to know why I’ve never noticed before? Because I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“My guy has nice hair, too,” he says wistfully. “Thick. Like,reallythick. And just long enough to really get your fingers into, you know? God, he’s cute.”

“You’re a little nauseating to be around, you know that, right?” I scrunch up my face in disgust. “Did baseball guy suck your brains out through your dick or something?”

“You should ask Vas out on a date. He’s such a hard worker, he deserves a break.” I give him such an incredulous look, he laughs. “He’s here on a student visa, you know? The stakes are a little higher for him to get good grades and maintain his spot on the team. Especially since he wants to stay after he graduates, so heneedsto cultivate relationships and maintain a high GPA so that he can get a job.”

I stare at him, surprised that he knows so much about Henri. I’d assumed there wasn’t much real talk in the locker room. Just a bunch of naked dudes, slapping each other’s backs and talking about all the pussy they get.

“I don’t date, and I’m not about to start with Henri,” I tell him sternly. Sighing, I close my eyes and look up at the ceiling. God help me.“But, I would definitely fuck him if he asked me to.”

“Ha!” Nate laughs. “I knew it. Absolutely incredible.”

“Once,” I say firmly. “I don’t double-dip.”

“You’re missing out, bro.” Nate straightens, reaching his arms over his head and stretching. Because I’m a red-blooded bisexual man, I enjoy the play of his muscles beneath his skin as he does it. I wonder if Henri has muscles like that. “Sex only gets better when you go back for more with the same person.”

“Sure, Nicholas Sparks, whatever you say. You going to tell your teammates about the bi thing?”

“Yeah, I am. I already told one of them, actually. Also, Max—one of my linemates—is gay, and so is Coach Mackenzie.I don’t even have to worry about the other guys being chill, I know they will be.”

“Mm.” I pick at a loose thread in his bedspread, aiming for nonchalance. “And Henri?”

I glance up at Nate to find him smirking at me. He shakes his head.

“Honestly, I have no idea. Vas is the guy you go to for advice, but he doesn’t talk about himself a lot. I get the impression he might be demi, actually. Maybe ace.”

“Really? Why?”

“Nothing in particular.” He shrugs. “Just a feeling. Vas is quiet. The guys will all be talking about who they’re with and what they’re doing, and Vas will just be over in the corner listening. He’s definitely not the kind to kiss and tell.”

“Mm,” I hum in agreement, succeeding in picking the thread out of the sheet. Nate reaches over and slaps my leg. “Ouch.”

“You should ask him out if you want to.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Sounds like you kind of want to.”

“Sounds like you don’t know me at all,” I reply, but there’s no heat in it. He’s right. I do kind of want to.

Rolling his eyes, Nate rises up off the floor and starts rolling up his yoga mat. Again, I enjoy the ripple of muscles in his arms and back as he does it, and again I wonder if all the hockey guys look this good when they’re shirtless. If Henri does.

“Whatever, man. Let me know if you want me to wingman for you with Vas. I’ll put a good word in when we’re naked together in the shower.” He winks at me lewdly, before tucking his yoga mat away beside his desk.

“Please don’t talk about—or even think about—me whenyou’re in the shower,” I request, and he laughs. “And don’t talk to Henri about me, dude, I was just curious about him. We’re partners in comm, that’s all it is.”

“That’s all it is,” Nate mimics in a high-pitched, nasally voice that sounds nothing like me. “Famous last words, pal.”

Henri textsme at 8:42 to let me know that he is back at his dorm if I still want to work on the assignment. I wait five minutes before responding in the affirmative, embarrassed by how excited I am that he reached out like he’d said he would. I’m acting pathetic and there’s no reason for it. Sure, Henri’s attractive, but so are a lot of guys. What I really need to do is go out and find a guy to bang—get my first time over with and with someone who won’t try and make it more than it is. Then, maybe I won’t be so hard up that even annoying people look like attractive options.

When I knock on Henri’s door, he opens it so quickly I wonder if he was standing on the other side waiting for me.

“You are here,” he exclaims, grinning and stepping back to let me walk in.

“As always, you appear to have a firm grasp of the obvious,” I retort.

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