Page 92 of Clean Out of Luck

She runs—waddles, really, in that suit—past the porch, clucking loudly.

“Scarlett Tiffany Fernsby. You’re tearing up Mom’s yard,” Phoenix shouts at her with a laugh.

He makes the rookie mistake of walking out onto the lawn…and getting mowed down by a giant blow-up chicken. He’s laughing too hard to do anything about it, and she’s soon up and running again.

She’s so spry in that costume. I brush a fist against my cheek and realize my eyes are watering from laughing so hard.

Phoenix crawls back to the safety of the porch before she can get him again.

“Why are you wearing a chicken suit?” Phoenix calls out.

Scarlett stops running for a minute and tips up the chicken head so I can finally see her face. Her cheeks are flushed and her hair is clinging to her face. It’s a warm day today, so I’d imagine running around in that blow-up suit makes her pretty hot.

“I just wanted to come wearing appropriate attire to hang out with you twocowards,” she says. Extra emphasis on the last word. She points at me with a blow-up chicken wing. “You’re a little less of a coward because you told me, but you’re still complicit.”

I nod dutifully. Sometimes, it’s better to admit your guilt. Accept it. Grovel. And hopefully, move on.

“And you.” She points a wing at her brother. “You think you’re the mastermind behind all of this, don’t you? You think you’re the genius who orchestrated this between Wade and me?”

Phoenix concerns me sometimes with his lack of sense of self-preservation. He doesn’t seem to have one at all because he responds, “Yes! You two never would have figured out you were meant to be!”

“Then why was I the one who moved out into a grown-up apartment? Why did I stay away when Wade was dating Rebecca? Why did I suggest he kiss me?” She flaps both her wings in the air. “You don’t get to claim that you orchestrated this relationship when it’s obvious I’ve had to be the emotionally mature one and make it happen. If it were left up to you two ding-dongs, you would still be sitting on that porchdrinking beer and figuring out how to ruin some more of my dates.”

Phoenix and I look at each other guiltily. She kinda has a point—as embarrassing as it is to admit.

I jog down the steps from the porch and head straight for my giant chicken.

“Don’t come near me! I’m sweaty, and I don’t know if I’ve forgiven you yet.” Scarlett frowns at me as I get closer.

“Thank you for getting me to admit my feelings for you. Thank you for being the emotionally mature one.” Although I do seem to remember being the one chasing her down in my car.

Scarlett nods each time. “See? If it hadn’t been for that mop that made you so mad, you wouldn’t have finally admitted it.”

I grin as I slide closer to her, grabbing a chicken wing and tugging her close.

“If it hadn’t been for you angry mopping and demanding that goodnight kiss…I don’t know if I would have ever had the courage. I was so scared to lose you.”

“Well, I’m glad one of us wasn’t afraid to take a risk.”

“See? You’re not afraid to run toward something that scares you,” I whisper to her as I kiss her cheek.

She turns her head at the last second and presses her lips against mine. “I guess it just has to be something I want bad enough.”

I’ve never kissed a chicken before. But I do my best to hug her close as I kiss her.

“No public indecency in my yard!” Phoenix yells from the porch.

“I’d like to keep kissing you,” Scarlett says. “You’ve proven I can trust you in our relationship…”

“I’ll happily do any test you need.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t need you to keep provingyourself. But I think I would like to run over my brother in my chicken suit one more time.” She grins up at me.

I wink at her and step to the side, flinging both my arms in the direction of Phoenix. “Be my guest.”

She powers those little chicken legs and chases a shrieking Phoenix all the way into the backyard.

And I can’t help but think this is what it means to be truly happy.

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