Page 16 of Clean Out of Luck

I can see the bubbles appearing like he’s texting me back, and I wish he would hurry up because Allen is still waving at Victor. I am about to die of secondhand embarrassment and would like to become one with this leather seat.

WADE

Allen Chapman? You mean the guy who went to Sweethaven High School with us? From my year?

SCARLETT

Yes, the very same.

WADE

Why on earth would you go on a date with Al??

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have told Wade. That was a judgmental two question marks.

WADE

He’s one of the finance bros. I heard he has his own podcast now.

I’m about to text him and ask him what’s wrong with the podcast, but then Victor comes over and whisks away Allen’s empty glass, shooting me a weird look with a raised eyebrow.

“Would you like some extra spicy salsa?” he asks me.

I shake my head. “Not yet.”

“Because I really think maybe you do,” Victor grits out as he lifts the margarita glass a little higher.

I nod once. “Maybe in a little bit.”

“So, I feel like we haven’t gotten to know each other well. I know we recognize each other from going to school together.”

That is actually patently not true. “I was a freshman when you were a senior. We probably didn’t cross paths much,” I reply with a smile. “My brother was in your class though.”

Allen quickly nods. “Oh, yes, I remember Phoenix. Good guy. Real good guy. Bit of a jock, but a good guy.”

The unfortunate thing about second dates is that you should’ve heeded the first date’s warning signs.

The first date I went on with Allen was just a quick little coffee date at the local Starbucks. It lasted about forty-five minutes, and then we both had other places to be. Most of the conversation revolved around unimportant things, like coffee and trips we’ve been on and places we would love to visit. He came across as a little boastful in those forty-five minutes, and I just chalked it up to him being nervous and wanting to make a good impression. But I’m beginning to suspect it was worse than that.

“You know, I do a lot of day trading,” he says. I don’t know why he’s telling me this since I didn’t ask. “I stay so busy keeping track of the market. In high school, I didn’t have time to do sports. I was too busy making money. Have you invested in Bitcoin? I could set you up with some great investment opportunities. You could be set for life by next week. And then there’s drop-shipping. You really should lookinto starting a drop-shipping business. It’s all passive income.”

As nice as that sounds, even I know a scam when I see one. If this guy is making all the money in the world, why did he drive up to Starbucks in an old car that looks like it has already been through a wrecking machine? I’m not one to judge the cars people drive, but he didn’t even pay for my coffee on our first date, and I am anticipating that he’s not going to pay for my dinner now. I just wanted to give him a chance…or at least, more of a chance, that is.

Unfortunately, this leads into an hour-long spiel about his favorite finance gurus and podcasts and how he’s going to buy a boat someday. Somewhere along the way, he lets it slip that he still lives in his parents’ basement. And I feel like that’s no surprise. Halfway through dinner, he asks if I want to see it in person.

My phone chimes in the middle of another long dialogue from Allen, and I glance down at a text message from Wade.

WADE

He’s one of those guys who sells courses on how to make money trading stocks. Which means he doesn’t make any money trading stocks. He’s going to make money off of other people. You should probably get out of there before he takes all your money.

I bite my lip to keep from laughing.

“You know, I really do have to be going.” I interrupt his spiel on which cryptocurrency has the most potential—something I neither understand nor care about. Maybe he has more knowledge than I do, but this is not the kind of person I want to spend my life with. And since we’ve already finished dinner…I’d like to get out of here as fast as possible.

“Really, if you just took my course, you would see how much I could benefit your life!”

“Are you pitching your course to me right now?” I rest my chin on my hand and lean my elbow on the table. It hadn’t even crossed my mind before, but he really hasn’t been asking me any questions all evening. He’s talked about his finances, what he can do for me, and this course that he’s created. I’m not on a date. I’m at a sales pitch.

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