Page 69 of Brother's Keeper

“Grimm doesn’t care,” I said, sounding hollow. “He’s ready to write us all off.”

I wondered if it struck Donovan with the same weight it hit me. If I’d accepted it, and I thought I had, why did it frighten me so much?

My brother crossed his arms, then fired back a sharp retort. “Well, whose fault is that?”

Stunned, I squawked a reply. “Excuse me?”

“You tried to kill him, Fitch!” Donovan exclaimed. “Did you even apologize?”

“Apologize?” I swayed back. “Fuck, no. He lied to me. Killed five people he told me we would protect—”

“And then you threatened his life,” Donovan said. “And embarrassed him in front of everyone. Now he can’t trust you anymore.”

If my brother thought that was bad, he should have seen the shit I pulled today.

ButdidDonovan think it was bad? Because it sounded more like something he’d heard and less something he believed. A sort of repetition I’d heard before at Lock n’ Roll when he confessed that he was working with Grimm and against me.

“Have you been talking to him?” I asked. “Again?”

I had his phone already. Did I dare look to see what communication had been going on behind my back? I’d wanted to cut him off from the gang; did I need to take his cell and car keys, too?

Donovan threw up his hands. “What else am Isupposed to do sitting around here all day?” he asked, making the scarcest effort to keep his voice down so the neighbors wouldn’t hear. “One of us needs to try to keep peace until you change your mind about this dumb boat.”

“Dumb boat?” Aggravation escaped me in a huff. “You just aren’t gonna let that go, are you?”

Rather than answer, he carried on. “At least Grimm listens to me. You don’t even bother to come home half the time.”

Remembering the way he’d sounded on the phone earlier, asking when I would be back, drummed up a fresh round of guilt. He’d been complaining about my absence since I started working for the Capitol. Even told me once he thought I was punishing him for joining the gang. I didn’t mean to.

“I’ve been busy,” I muttered.

I needed a smoke.

My brother’s anger didn’t pause for my nicotine craving. He launched into a string of questions while I fumbled the cigarette pack out of my pocket.

“Busy with what?” he asked. “Birthday parties? Sleepovers with Nash? Your stupid job?”

I pointed at him with my cigarette-bearing hand, juggling his phone and my lighter in the other.

“How about trying not to let the fucking world fall apart?” I snapped. “And keeping your ass alive because the dicks who have Ripley want you, too.” Waving the cell provided unnecessary emphasis. “They want you dead, Donnie, and as far as I see it, I’m the only thing standing in the way of that. Grimm sure as hell isn’t.”

Trying to manage the lighter and the phone tested my limited patience. I checked the cell for new messages and found none before tucking it into my pocket and firing up the cig. It would take more than a few drags to smooth my frayed nerves, but it was a start.

Donovan’s dark brows knit together, and his lips pursed. “You don’t know that.”

“Don’t know it?” Smoke billowed out with my laughter. “I’m living it. I’m drowning in shit you can’t possibly understand—”

“Because you never talk to me!” He balled his fists on his hips, affecting a stiff posture and taking on a mocking voice meant to sound like mine. “Everything’s fine, Donnie. I’ve got it, Donnie. Don’t worry, Donnie,” he whined. “It sounds like I should be fucking worried! If you need help, tell me. We’re brothers. We should work together. Be a team.”

Before he finished speaking, I was already shaking my head. I wished I could shake him instead. Clearly, coddling him had gotten me nowhere good. It was time for a change of tactic.

“And how do you think that would go, huh?” I asked. “You don’t have any magic. You’re powerless. Defenseless.” I stabbed a finger into my chest so hard it hurt. “It’s my job to protect you.”

His features pinched, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret the harsh words. “Well, you’re fired,” he replied. “So, you can stop being my goddamned savior and just be my brother for a change.”

The phone vibrated against my thigh.

I raised my hand in a signal for a timeout. Donovanrolled his eyes and turned away, walking to the metal rail that bordered the deck and leaning over it with his back to me.

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